Queue times for content getting long?

[sirDarts]

But once I reached 60 and began the farm for my iLvl 170 gear then I started encountering problems. Had no aggro issues still and didn't die on boss fights, but would always get told to pull more trash. Which I simply responded 'No sorry, not at my iLvl' and would have people leave mainly healer's.

Tbh, if you have an i180+ healer with you, and they ask you to pull more, they are likely able to keep you up.
I was able to easily keep up a ~i155 War in Neverreap with full pulls (he even pulled the second group of Wasps to the 2xTotem + Vanu group), and I could even slightly DPS.
I see little reason to not try to pull more. The worst that can happen is a wipe, and if you say from the start the you are not sure about larger pulls, but will risk it, then nobody will blame you if the damage is too much.

[Archaell]

I see little reason to not try to pull more. The worst that can happen is a wipe, and if you say from the start the you are not sure about larger pulls, but will risk it, then nobody will blame you if the damage is too much.

Not everyone has nerves to risk wipes. Whenever I tank / heal, my responsibility isn't to do big pulls, my responsibility is to prevent wipes. Every single wipe is failure no matter if you get blamed or not. The main issue is that there are players who have no patience for new tanks, while they expect you as the tank to follow their whims without losing patience of yours.

Queues are longer because tanking is more demanding. It isn't hard to do in safe environment, it is hard due to social issues. If everybody would let tanks set their own pace, followed marking and instructions, then there would be more tanks. That's not the case tho, so it is no wonder many players get discouraged from tanking for randoms, or they become "arrogant" tanks, because the anger or frustration builds up over time.

I would also blame the lack of responsibility when it comes to dpsing. If dps role was more difficult and demanding, many people would switch to healing/tanking.