I don't think anyone is really debating that it's not fun to max your dps - if you enjoy playing ANY class to its fullest extent in an MMO then it's a fun thing to do, to theorycraft optimal rotations, practise them on dummies and in the field, and select gear appropriate to it.
The problem tanks suffer is that they have to make sacrifices to the OTHER aspect of their fun, the feeling of tankiness. Feeling forced to find as many moments as possible to swap into Sword Oath, turn Grit off etc is skillful yes but also makes you feel squishy. Same as being forced to give up the security of a huge hitpoint pool in order to wear strength accessories. It's necessary/optimal but it takes away from that feeling you can get when tanking.
I agree it would be good to have the tanking rotation more complex to introduce more skill into the mitigation side, rather than just "keep these debuffs up and press one of your cooldowns before a big thing happens". But I don't mind the complexity in the job role being in the optimal dps output area. What I object to is that the current meta encourages tanks to merely have the bare minimum of survivability and optimise DPS, rather than maximising their survivability and considering DPS once the tanky element is minmaxed.
Different people like different things, but the current meta only really caters to the kind of tank players who would probably gravitate towards Warrior as their choice of tanking archetype - they want to be aggressive and deal heavy damage from the front. The players who gravitated towards paladins -probably- prefer more the feeling of the immovable wall and don't care if their DPS is lower than other tanks as long as that isnt a detriment to the group, because they get a good feeling from being solid and hard to kill.
The problem doesnt really stem from the kits of the tanks. I think the tanks are nicely balanced and all play well. The issue is that each tank is designed to solve a different problem, but there's only really one type of problem being displayed in raids. Warriors are a hammer, dark knights are a hefty wrench, Paladins are a screwdriver. The problem is that every raid so far is a Nail.

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