You aren't crap. Please don't ever feel that way about your situation.

My husband has MS and I know what it is like.

If you were ever in a group with me and you let the party know the situation, you can be darn sure that I wouldn't tolerate anyone being rude about it. I am glad you have the tenacity to keep playing and enjoying, though. I know it can be difficult and that coordination issues could be frustrating.