A story of an Astrologian and a Scholar buffing their team

[SovereignAegis]

*Disclaimer and note: Astrologian if they opt to not use a card to save their royal road effect currently saved will actually need to wait a full 15 seconds for the card to expire to begin another 30second cooldown cycle timer to draw their next card.
And this is meant to be funny and display the frustrations an Astrologian faces when compared to another healer in the utility department.



AST: "Muahaha I used spread to hold this arrow card before I went into my dungeon muahahahaa! Then if I luck out and draw an ewer and then Royal Roaded it into a team wide buff! BRILLAINT! BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT!"


Scholar comes up with Selene: "Yo whats up bro".

AST: "MY BUFf IS SUPERIRORRRRR!"

Scholar: "Yeah man yo go man, you da man bro."
Scholar selene buffs party.
AST: Draws an ewer "It's okay I can royal road this! I am the luckiest AST ever! It is like luck is just falling into my hands from the sky! I AM BLESSED BY THE STARS!"
AST uses buff on party.

AST: 30 seconds later Draws a spear "... well... poopypants.... ..."
Scholar selene buffs team again
AST: "JUST YOU WAIT YOU FLOWER EATING JACKRABBIT! I WILL UNLAESH THE BUFFS OF GLORY ON MY TEAM!"
Scholar: "Do it man, let's do it!"

AST: 30 seconds later draws a spire "...?! MY LUCK WILL CHANGE!"
AST: 30 seconds later draws a bole "... CURSE YOU!"
Scholar selene buff goes off again

AST: 30 seconds later draws another bole "GRrRrrRrRR?!?1/1?!?!?!/1?!!"
AST: shuffles and draws another bole "WHY DOES THIS ABILITY EVEN DO THIS!"
AST 30 seconds later draws another spear "OH MY GOD WHY"
Scholar selene buff goes off

AST: "ENOUGH I WILL JUST USE THE NEXT CARD"
30 seconds later draws a bole and decides to spread it.
AST: "THERE MY GLORIOUS BUFF FOR LATER. I WILL GET THIS ARROW OFF"
Scholar selene buff goes off.

AST: Draws a card, it's a spear. Decides to just use it. "MY GLORIOUS BUFF WILL COME I HAve faITH"
AST: draws a card 30 seconds later. "AN ARROW PERFECT!"
"Wait... WAIT MY SPREAD IS ON COOLDOWN AND I HAVE NO ROYAL ROAD EFFECT...?!?!?!!!" ONLY 10% ATTACK SPEED ON ONE TARGET NOW?!?!?!?!!"




Scholar fairy buff goes off again.

Tank: "Hey guys there is a massive group of mobs ahead I will need more defense! Please help me or we wipe!"

AST: "PERFECT I HAVE BOLE AND I CAN MAKE IT AN ENHANCED BOLE AND IT WILL BE FANTASTIC! I AM MADE FOR THIS!"
AST: Draws a spire
AST: "It's okay... it's okay just use it on a party member to get rid of cooldown...."

Tank: I can't wait much longer I need to potty.
AST: "I WILL GET THE BUFF!"
Ast draws a spear and royal roads it. "This will... work..."
AST: "JUST A BIT LONGER!" 30 seconds later draws a balance "CURSE YOU CARD" and spreads it
AST: "JUST A MINUTE!!!!!!!" 30 seconds later draws an arrow "Why couldn't you have been here last pull?!?!?!?!?!! has no choice but to throw it away"
AST: "I need a bit-"

Tank "PULLING."

Scholar uses eye for an eye and dome.

AST: "WHAT?!?!?!! NO! NO! MY CARDS!" Frantically drawing another spire. "BUT MUH UTILITY!"
AST: "I WAS MADE FOR THIS! STOP! I CAN BOLE YOU! STOP!"

Scholar: "It's okay man, we all have bad luck sometimes."

Fairy selene buff goes off again.


Ast: "I HATE YOU WITH THE PASSION OF 10000 SUNS OH MY GOD"
AST rage quits party.

[FoxyAreku]

Buffs need to be buffed.

[Vlady]

Despite the misnomers it is still amusing and made me chuckle. I would have thought the astro are weak threads would have started to die down since the bard/machinist/dark/paladin/black threads are thinning.

[Eul]

I just leveling my AST and this RNG makes me crai crai evrytaim lel.

[TyloRime]

Super funny - thank you

[Cynfael]

*Disclaimer and note: Astrologian if they opt to not use a card to save their royal road effect currently saved will actually need to wait a full 15 seconds for the card to expire to begin another 30second cooldown cycle timer to draw their next card.

You can just click off the currently drawn card in your status bar if you want to reset your Draw timer without expending a saved RR effect.

A Discard ability would still be convenient, but at least there's that.

[VanEinstein]

Lol, here we go again with Vlady.

Anyhow, I enjoyed your post OP. It was a humorous way of pointing out a flaw. Sure, having a variety of buffs is nice, but being unreliable is a hindrance. Preparation and dependability is king.

[GideonHighmourn]

You forgot the part where you actually Draw Bole, place it on the tank, and they wait for it to expire before pulling.

Or when you finally Draw Balance ... At the end of a pull as things die ... In a low-level dungeon, where you can't Spread yet.

[Yumi_umi]

Haha i learned to never pre buff.
8/10 times the tank will wait it out thinking u r still buffing etc its like wtf lol i gave u the perfect card combo and u decide to wait it out?
Also yea tht pretty much sums up sch and ast in PvE lol

[GeekMatt]

Good post, made me giggle

The stretches of consistently bad RNG don't happen that often, but when it does it can really bite you in the ass. The cards need more purpose so you can actually adapt and get some benefit from them, but I feel like they wanted it to be a difficult job to master and too much easement of the cards would take away the need to think (and I'd lose interest)