Not sure what to do.

[Theodric]

As a tank, I'm usually the centerpiece of any and all screwups. Most of which end up not being my fault!
Anyone who mains a tank and has played with people they don't know, or even those that play with friends, I'm sure would tell you that DPS generally have the most lenient roles in the game.
If anything, use the criticism, even if mean spirited, to better yourself. I wouldn't be the tank I would be today if it weren't for the enmity we generate from our peers.

As an aspiring tank...I agree wholeheartedly.

[Krylo]

The way I see it, you have three options:

1) Avoid endgame. Do stuff once it's a couple patch cycles old when everyone outgears it and can carry you and you messing up isn't a big deal.

2) Accept that you might not be the best Black Mage out there--and then do what it takes to change that until you can be confident. Talk to other BLMs, look up guides, look up ways to be able to judge your performance, practice rotations on dummies and get good enough that when a group wipes you KNOW it isn't your fault--or if it is, you know you can handle it next time, now that you know what's coming.

3) Quit.

Personally, I suggest option 2.

[Canadane]

But yeah, the essential problem is that mean criticism hurts so much that I damn near drive myself nuts trying to be awesome in order to avoid it.

That's the spirit! It's pretty much what I did as well. Yeah it kinda sucks everyone won't suddenly be best of friends, but in the end, you're bettering yourself and becoming a great player.

[Zahbi]

snip

Option 2 is probably best. Option 1 is basically fully admitting that I'm terrible and I'd rather choke on Lominsan Anchovies than be carried through anything. I do actually watch guides and use methods of gauging my effectiveness, and for the most part it helps. But that's why it's a bit shitty when I derp on a fight I actually know (granted, this derp doesn't usually happen more than once.) I could spend a bit more time practicing my rotation, though.

[Ayuhra]

I love this game, but recently I feel like I want to delete my character and quit. My issue is that I feel like I suck so badly at endgame and when I do attempt it, I feel constant pressure to not be terrible so that I don't have to deal with people yelling at me, ridiculing me, or excluding me from fights. However, I'm much more critical of my mistakes, especially if it's a mistake on a fight I should already know by heart. Commendations are another nightmare. I try to play my best and getting commended for it affirms that I did well, so it bugs me a lot when I give it my all and don't get recognized for it. That said, I know that there are others who try equally as hard and commendations are limited. Still, trying to do a lot of the endgame stuff and carrying my weight makes me very anxious, and I can't stop thinking of myself as a worthless excuse for a black mage when I mess up. Has anyone else dealt with similar feelings?

I could have written all of this. I come from a game where combat is much faster and more fluid so in this one I feel like I am flailing. So many abilities and timers and buffs and debuffs and aaaah. AAAH. I have also pulled the plug on my account at one point deciding that this is just a game my tiny, no longer teenage hands will never come to grips with. But when I went back to the game I left this one for I just missed this game so back again.

Honestly I can't give you a magical solution to this problem since I'm right there with you. I can say I have come to be more relaxed when playing around complete strangers rather than with my FC. My FC is made up of lovely people but they all know what they're doing and I never want to disappoint them so I mess something up each time I play with them. Who was it that died in an UNSYNCHED party on Titan HM after leading a group of strangers through Burden of the Father? This Duskwight.

All I do is draw a breath, try to relax, and hope that someday difficulty will be in the encounters alone rather than in the encounters AND the rotations. Encounters I can handle, I am good at learning mechanics and knowing when to dodge. But these buttons...so many buttons... BLMs don't have many but melee seems out of the question for someone like me. Alas.

[Kaedan94]

It requires a thick skin to play group content in MMOs nowadays. If you don't perform perfectly, or at least can't avoid making mistakes, or even if you're not going fast enough for some people, it's common among the English queue that people will be *****.

To be frank, if you have difficulty dealing with the vitriol from those type of people, then I suggest moving to a Japanese server. It makes communication a little more difficult, but if you learn to use the autotranslate, it's not bad at all. And there are several Japanese servers with English speakers as well.

The reason I suggest that is because Japanese players are generally more polite. Most will usually avoid saying anything rude, favoring to remain silent. They will usually endure about 3-4 wipes before simply vote abandoning, and avoid any finger-pointing or rudeness.

Not all English speaking players are rude, but sadly it's a fact that English speakers are far more vocal and more likely to be rude and starting blaming others.

[Spy]

Nice to see you taking the forums positively. I'll second the notion of just finding a friendly fc that's willing to help you learn endgame at your own pace. If I was still on Hyperion I'd be happy to invite you into my FC. But I'm sure there are plenty of good FC's out there.

[Its_Elodie]

Endgame can be stressful with randoms, so try to find a good solid group of people who you can learn content together with and bond with over mistakes who aren't uber critical elites.

Commendations are also a joke, do not even for one second believe they are a valid judgement of your performance in a group. They are more like weird random gifts from strangers. I saved our group from 3 possible wipes in one run of Alexander last night when my friend who was cohealing with me started getting massive lag spikes and died three times in aoe, while managing the party while he was dead, the prey and bleeding debuffs and rezzing the friggin bard who kept dying over and over from not dodging aoe sitting in wanderers minuet (who got loot btw, rng consistently smiles on the worst party members). All that and no comms. You could be superman incarnate and still not get recognized for it, so be surprised when you get them but don't expect them.

[Solaria_Luna]

Also about commendations I think a lot are just doing it for the reskin of Fat Chocobo too. (Parade Chocobo)

I also do notice with commendations that is probably the case. (once people get the daily for giving 5 commendations they quickly out before I can have a chance to have a choice of who to commend)

Though I wonder if Wanderer's Minuet on BRD is also makes it an AoE target like Ley Lines makes BLM an AoE target. (especially the circle ones and the ones with the straight bar coming towards you)

[Ryans]

My god. I can sympathize a little with feeling anxious about end game as it isn't particularly hard but requires memorization which can only come with experience. But you are way too sensitive. Unless you are genuinely horrible, you have been taught enough by the time you reach 60 that you can do any content. It is just a matter of letting yourself do it without holding it over yourself if you fail.

My advice: Breathe.