I've never dropped a dungeon since release... generally the line has been crossed if one or more party members are being jerks.
Are you playing Warrior? Are you wearing any DPS gear? Are you wearing all STR gear? If you answered YES to any two of those questions, you're the kind of build that Healers hate for exactly this reason. (eg Not being able to DPS, or WAR's being to damn squishy) The "Do your damn job" cuts both ways. Healers should be healing, and Tanks should be tanking.
I'd say >50% of WAR's are too squishy. But there's also various kinds of play styles I think are just -wrong- from healers that if I was tanking I'd probably tell them to quit being lazy.
- If they cast most/all their healing buffs immediately (eg protect+stoneskin+regen+medica II) before taking any damage. The kind of people that do this tend to spend too much time in cleric stance and don't actually know the fight mechanics at all. Protect+SS, fine. Protect+SS and Regen on top = idiot. Medica II on top of SS = also an idiot.
- If they cast Medica II in any 4-man content outside of a boss room. If they do this, they are doing this because they think they're a Scholar. Scholar's can cast Succor (and give a the party a shield) without the enmity penalty that the regen effect gives in Medica II. Anytime a healer does this, they are making the tanks job much harder than it needs to be.
Which goes back to the point about "doing your damn job", I don't envy tanks, but anytime I play a DPS, it seems like the bad tank to bad healer ratio is 2:1 . For every 2 runs with a bad tank, one of those will also have a bad healer. A good tank should minimize the amount of healing the healer needs to do in the first place. A bad tank is one where the healer is constantly having to do things like Tetra+Benediction during every pull to keep a tank from being squished in 3 seconds. To summarize... Tanks know when they are playing bad, because they don't use their Cool Downs. Healers don't know when they are playing badly EXCEPT when the Tank is playing badly too, because suddenly their lazy strategy doesn't work anymore. A good healer can more or less suffer through ONE bad tank, but they won't suffer through a bad tank AND two bad DPS on top.
At that point Vote Abandon is prefered.
How many times have I voted "Yes" to Abandon? maybe 3 times in entirety, mostly 8/24 raids where it was clear a DPS or two was being carried, and there was no getting over the DPS check.
It does irritate me how often "Vote Abandon" comes up after ONE wipe on the Alexander runs, it's just like the Extreme Primals and Coil... If the Vote goes NO, then one person walks out of the dungeon so we're forced to abandon it. I've also had at least one run where one DPS just stood outside the boss room on purpose so that the dungeon would have to be abandoned. Again, after ONE run. Who are these people think they're kidding. Jumping right back into the queue is going to get you most or all the same people again.