I'm sorry, but healers don't DPS to mess with the tank. They DPS to kill enemies, which causes less damage to be dealt over the course of the battle, and to speed up runs as a whole. What you're describing isn't a disruptive healer, but a healer that toes the line, taking a calculated risk to push out as much damage as they can before bringing the tank out of danger. The healer is placing their faith in you to not make mistakes, dodge well and mitigate properly, just as you place your faith in them to keep you alive. So long as both of you do your part, the risk is a success. And it should be, every time. If not, the healer miscalculated and needs to make adjustments. If you're not comfortable with that, speak up. The healer is gauging the battle based on their own comfort level, they don't know where you stand.
The other behavior you described, if it continues consistently, can be handled with a harassment kick, if they are so disruptive about it.
I myself enjoy a good speed run when I overgear the dungeon. When ilevels are close, or strict level sync is in place, I'd prefer a normal run over drawn out AoE packs.



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