You're right, the gear progression is the same in 2.0 just looks / iLV are different. That's just the general way of the game. I've never knew there was joy in fate grinding lol.
Some people, including myself, are just not use to this. I'm more use to weekly raids and hoping for something to drop a piece of what I need to combine it with another to a NPC to get one item. That's just not the mentality of this game. It's not so much about getting that gear but enjoying the content.
I personally feel everyone is wrong in fate grinding. This is why we're getting "This job..is soooo horrible!" people forgot that as you level up your skill set but player skill levels up too. Some people just aren't as natural in finding rotations as they thought they were. This game doesn't require a lot of time to accomplish things unless you want to accomplish everything. I can get on, play for a few hours maybe take a day or two off and come back.
You're right to want your enjoyment, just that this game offers things differently which is why I enjoy it but others don't. You're here for the beauty, challenge the content and just relax..enjoy yourself. Unless enjoying means constantly running things or grinding like other or older MMO's.
From the way it sounds, this doesn't sound like the game for you. Which is fine, my friend tried it and he couldn't stand it because he felt alone in the world. He was far behind us and he wanted us to come watch him play a quest while talking to him on TS. We would talk to him but we wouldn't sit there watching him play a lv25 quest, we would join I when he had to fight something like dungeons but at 50 we had no desire to play low level dungeons repeatedly. He again felt like he was playing by himself with a bit of interaction and has since left. If you feel the same way, then it might not be for you.
A lot of things in FFXI were wonderful, and for me a lot of the content never felt like it was done over again. I think they're going in the right direction and will eventually get there. Having trash mobs with boss like mechanics is one of those things that I believe they should implement more of.