Launcher system error: -2146697208

[Sootsprite]

A system error has occurred: -2146697208
http://frontier.ffxiv.com/version_3_...=2015-06-20-21

For the past few days, right after the Launcher did a self-update, I have not been able to log in due to this error. At first, I thought it might be because of the recent maintenance, but that's done now, and the error is still happening.

I've read a number of posts about this in these forums and on others, and have followed all the advice therein... but nothing seems to help me. =(

I have installed the latest Windows Updates
I have enabled all SSl and TLS options in the Advanced tab in IE 11
I have enabled IE 11's ability to run software even if the signature is invalid
I have tried running ffxivboot.exe as Administrator (and yes, my account is the admin)
I have tried reinstalling the Launcher
I have added frontier.ffxiv.com to my firewall's list of trusted sites
I have turned off my firewall completely
I have reset my modem/router
I have rebooted my PC
I have cleared all cache data from IE 11
I have reset all IE settings back to the factory defaults
I have spammed running ffxivboot.exe because some posts indicate it works for them 1 out of 100 times... but I haven't been able to get past it even once. T_T
Also, I DO get a 145ms reply when I ping frontier.ffxiv.com (which doesn't seem to make much sense... but there it is).

Any additional help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated... I know I can't be the only one with this error still unresolved! >.>

Windows 7 Pro 64 w SP1
Intel i5-4670 processor
16GB memory

Help me Obi-Lode Stoneobi, you're my only hope!

-Sooty