I am terrified of tanking because of stuff like this tank abuse. I'm slowly trying it, but only if I have a party at least 3/4 of people I know (including myself). As a ninja gone scholar, if a DPS isn't doing their job, I'll catch on, and maybe try to suggest that the bard doesn't try to steal agro. If a DPS is being ridiculously rude to another party member, I use my healer authority to have them stop (mainly let them take a bunch of damage, or in some cases, if they really aren't helping the group, just let them die). But if I enter as a DPS, I feel like I have no right to stop anyone besides the other DPS unless they're crossing some serious lines. As a tank, I don't have the same confidence as I heal, and I'm right around that "slightly lower than DPS" status of right to complain, because most of the time, I won't know exactly what I'm doing. Trust me, if the tank abuse dies down, maybe I'll try it. But I'm not going to df tank until I don't feel terrified of it.