I was whm as main, hated it. Tested blm as main , all fun. But then 2 RL friends started playing and they both DPS, so I went and leveled gladiator with em. And I fell in love with my Paladin. As a tank I am in some sort of "controll". And after watching other tanks win and fail several times, I knew what to do and not to do. But it took some balls from my end to actually test out Extreme primals, and other new content in the Duty finder. But by being diplomatic and understanding. Letting em know ur new to the dungeon, please give me tips or whatnot, alwawys helps. I actually get a little adrenaline kick from testing out new stuff now.

The key is Communication. Constructive Communication. And if ppl are rude, shrug it off, reply with kindness or very diplomatic understandable replies. And in most cases ppl reply kindly back and say sorry for being rude. If they still are rude, ignore. And move on in the duty. Dont waste energy on going down to their rude level.
It is actually very very simple. What you are telling me , Would you have someone tell you the same? I dont want ppl to be rude to me for no reason or some small belitteling reason in a game.. So I dont spit out rudeness onto others.
I do DF everyday as PLD sometimes alone , sometimes with a dps or heal FC/LS friend. And havent met one rude person from my 1 year MainTanking in Duty finder. And instant join queue is just super. As a family guy I love the feeling i can just sit down press "Join" in duty finder, And in I go. I check the HP of my fellow group mates. And this will give me some sort of indication on how big pulls I can do. If I wanna try big big, I ask first if they are up to it.
The only thing that anyos me regarding DPS (and yes I played BLM as main in the start) is the instant nuking as soon as my shield lob hits the boss. Let me build up some hate for 5 seconds. Your super though hard nukes 1 second after pull isnt helping the group.. And in Tower 24 man runs this just messes up the whole start of the boss fight.. Hate control goes both ways! And Bards, in DF give me that MP song, so we can flash the entire duty bright with lights! (yes I have Riot blade, but mp song makes it more effecient in the long run. And I can stun trash mob around me while flashing.) Tanking is fun, hope to see ya in the duty someday!
And a side note: Its easy to learn dps.there is always one or more of you in every duty. If in doubt look or ask the next DPS in group. As Tanks your the only one there. And if ur new and never tanked b4 how would you know what to do. (excluding 2 tanks duties). So the overall learning curve for tanks is a bit longer than other jobs. Healers also get it hard in start. So all dps'ers, have patience. If u watch something grows, it usually grows into something beautifull. It all depends on how you say it, not what you say.