I'm really sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I'm not sure if it's just that you're unlucky but I don't get this sort of behavior outside of the Crystal Tower raids. I can see how it could be incredibly frustrating though and I'd probably just let the person die (I often bring either a healer or a DPS with me whenever I'm queueing for dungeons).

As for everyone's comments about marking taking time... Wat? Bring up the mark window, click a button as you're about to Tomahawk/Shield Lob, and then tab cycle through and hit the other mark buttons. Boom, everything marked in under half a second. On PSx? Can't help you.

And I don't macro my pull for the same reason OP doesn't; I don't want a unitask button on my hotbars.