7 Reasons You Should Be Nicer to Tanks (And People in General)

[MadMacallan]

It has come to my attention, and the attention of literally everyone that's ever played an MMO, that tanks typically get a lot of insults, anger, and frustration thrown their way. Despite running an entire dungeon with flawless execution, that one aggro slip or lack of precise placement / navigation sends an otherwise reserved, quiet group into a rampage of rage fueled keyboard murder. We've all done it at one point or another. It's been a long evening. Maybe you logged on to escape your nagging wife, crying kid, or the bitter loneliness that drove you to mindlessly grind dragons in a video game because girls think you're awkward and being anonymous finally gives you the power assistant management at Best Buy never granted. Not that I can relate. I'm awesome. Also, I'm a tank. Either way, a lot of you decide that the tank is basically party cancer and hurling criticism is the only way you can cope with your unbridled fury and repressed issues. I guess. What's important is why you should stop doing that. Allow me to elaborate.


Author Note: After the "success" of my last list post (100+ likes, good times) I was also "successfully" super extremely banned for ten days for excessive profanity (including no effort to censor profanity) and references to things that are dark and hilarious. I totally deserved it. I tried to censor everything and find alternative metaphors / similes without all the adult stuff. Which totally bums me out. But the dude abides.

7. You Can't Relate
Being a DPS requires placement, rotation, and adapting to situations to accommodate things like the AOEs, missed interrupts, etc. Healing is a whole different breed of strategy, and induces more panic than eating a Taco Bell breakfast-sausage-waffle-nightmare-taco and getting stuck in traffic. What I'm saying is all jobs require a certain level of skill and coordination, and I feel obligated to say that so this doesn't turn into a nerd battle detracting from the issue. Also because I actually believe it. I also believe healers occasionally eat AOEs and DPS eat AOEs like free bacon more often than not. The tank's role requires placement, navigation, knowing the mechanics of every fight, threat on multiple mobs, provoking when necessary, avoiding AOEs, surveying the environment during fights (WP), marking during fights, and watching our health bar dip to dangerous levels while we "bio" in our pants. The point is, regardless of whether you / we think that's difficult, you still aren't a tank so you're not doing it. Sometimes it can be challenging. Occasionally, depending on gear differences, regen (which should be removed) and people incapable of targeting in order of mark numbers, it can be hell.

That being said, unless you're a level 50 tank in FFXIV you have no idea what it requires of us given that provoke is emergency only, flash is garbage sauce and against high DPS or an OCD healer, we're constantly watching the threat meters and hoping that last Rage of Halone drops before the Monk wielding Orphan Blood Knuckles of Soul Slaughter steals aggro and things spiral out of control.

6. Other MMOs are Different
As I mentioned, skills like Flash are brutally ineffective most of the time. Damage-generated hate is totally overrated so we're left using things like Circle of Scorn which by the way, doesn't actually increase threat aside from the laughable damage it produces. That being said, whether or not you think other MMOs suck because after several years of dedicating your life to them you suddenly refer to them as things people should go back to when they piss you off and you're awful at insulting people, I've tanked in practically all of them, and AOE hate was a hell of a lot easier. Rift, WoW, and others all provided an arsenal to tanks that kept the MOBs sticky and the healers from a permanent limp.

Point is, even if your level 147 Runecraft Polygon Paladin (that's a thing, right?) was exceptionally good at holding aggro and determining the success of the group's survival, that doesn't apply here. So stop talking about other MMOs. Only I can do that - because I have a point and you don't.

Segue: I know, I've spent the last twenty minutes reinforcing that tanking is hard and boo hoo and give me a macro that aggros the entire dungeon and tears and I'm a bad tank and all the predictable crap I'll get for some of that. Or all of it. Probably all of it. But don't worry, I'm going to delve into things that have no relevance to difficulty, so stay with me. And try to avoid the keyboard murder thing. Your mom just replaced the last one and the sunlight is a primary source of Vitamin D. It'll help with your crippling depression.

5. We're Trying
I'd consider myself a pretty solid tank. It's a thankless job but I've gotten more praise and props than I received in other MMOs perhaps because other tanks out there are struggling much harder than I am, or my group is drunk and they're trying to compliment the healer. People can be downright abusive at times, which is borderline retarded considering the dude is probably doing his best to keep things formulaic and consistent. If a tank blows a pull, loses threat, or eats an AOE when he's not supposed to, give him the opportunity to apologize or correct his mistakes (maybe with your advice) before threatening to dropkick his grandmother into a lake. Chances are, that tank doesn't want to die and getting through a dungeon successfully is actually a goal we have. I know, it's a mind blowing revelation, but when mistakes are made they're just that. If a tank is really that unbearably bad, then leave. And trust me, I have a DPS and a healer, and I've eaten the 45 minute queue on the former to avoid doing a traceroute and burning his house to the ground. I get it. We all get pissed off, but the tank is ultimately responsible for whether or not the group accomplishes its goals, so back up on the pressure and assume they're at least doing their best.

4. Learning Curve? You Go to Hell
Some tanks are new. I typically watch every video more than once to make sure I don't end up getting Titan's Hard Mode in my mouth and even after my group has bloodied the hell out of a boss if a particular mechanic made no sense to me (Like pacing the kills on Tonberry's adds to avoid the tank eating a grudge-laced happy meal) at first, I go look it up after I loot and "gg" everyone while pretending I knew what in the hell was going on in the first place.

But I'm not everyone.

Some tanks like to dig in, discover mechanics on their own, and learn as they go. Or, God forbid, ask people for guidance. Which apparently is the most upsetting and insulting thing anyone has ever heard ever. Here's a somewhat paraphrased occurrence I experienced as a Healer in AV:

Tank: Should I tank him near where he's standing?
DPS 1: OH F***
DPS 2: lol
Me: Yeah, face him away from the party and stand close to the fruit.
DPS 1: Another noob tank lol go back to Africa (I made that Africa thing up, but he was probably a racist so it's fair)

Oddly enough, we totally died. That first DPS went on an absolute tirade. Something about the tank's parents dying in a car accident. I don't know. I was too busy wondering why the game still doesn't have a kick command and consoling the tank. After the DPS was done berating the guy into the ground, all he said was "sry trying" and stopped typing. Poor bastard. Maybe I'm just a nice guy. But I'm not. Not at all. I'm pretty abrasive and confrontation is kind of my thing, but this is one of those scenarios where a senior citizen falls in a busy street, breaks his hip, and that first DPS is taking an instagram for his twitter feed with the caption "he's probably dead. lol."

I know you're preloading "it's an MMO, get used to it" but that doesn't forgive the behavior. And if you actually think that's a legitimate response, you're worse than that guy. Some people are on a learning curve, so while I know it absolutely sucks grinding tomes and you want the fastest most mindless experience possible (I know I do) maybe stop annihilating people on a learning curve and blame yourself for being too much of an a**hole to make friends that you can run with to meet your personal standards.

A**hole.

3. So Make a Tank
Here's the thing about exclusivity. If you go to a movie theater, short of smuggling in your own no frills Brand of Twizzlers (they're called Red Vines; you can buy them at WalMart. Or steal them from homeless people) you're going to pay upwards of 200 dollars for a pack of milk duds and a bucket of salt saturated stale popcorn covered in "I Can Totally F-ing Believe This is Not Butter." When you decided to make a DPS, or a Healer you also decided to opt out of being a tank. Why? Maybe you like parsing your damage and knowing that boss is dying because you damn well decided you want him dead. Maybe you perceive being a healer as a pet class where everyone in your party is a mindless thug sent to slaughter your enemies (that's kind of how I play my healer). Or maybe you just avoided being a tank, because tanking can be hard and having the entire party relying on you executing with precision sounds a lot less enticing than facerolling a primal boss into oblivion. And I don't blame you. One of the reasons I made a tank in my early MMO days was because so many people were terrible at it. But it kind of stuck, and I've been tanking dudes ever since. But that's me. I make the mistake of yelling at healers on occasion, and usually end up apologizing, but then I realize I didn't make a healer because I don't like the responsibility or accommodating for DPS slipping into a coma and strolling through a gigantic red circle because they're too busy ranting on message boards that macros are limited to 15 lines. That being said, consider if you don't like the prices of popcorn or the way a specific role plays, offer constructive feedback, resources they can utilize to improve, or you know, make your own version of their class. Or leave. You have options. A lot of them actually. One of those options is totally to just scream and whine and beg for death but that's a bad option. Which is what I've been saying. Like this entire time. And if you're struggling to find a proficient tank that you want to buy a friendship bracelet for then that's more your problem than it is theres. Keep looking, and in the meantime, get off our collective nuts.

2. We're a Dying Breed
This is the logic that accompanies every complaint regarding the duty finder. Step one, complain about duty finder queue times. Step two, have a queue pop then proceed to brutally attack the tank you've been looking for for the last forty five minutes. Keep doing that. Eventually, you'll have to wait for two weeks because all of the tanks are tired of your crap. I mean, it's doubtful, because there are plenty of us tanks that take the heat and keep plowing through trying to improve, or just laugh off petty attacks and grow thick skin. But the point is plenty of people have retired as tanks because their friendly companions hit a hell of a lot harder than the boss does, and it's not fun anymore. It's a little tough to concern yourself with saving the same guy that tells you to die of cancer because you lost threat for three seconds on a violent fish.

1. You Can See Our Mistakes
I saved the best for last, of course. And if you walk away from this article with anything it should be this one. A tank is exposed. Like a strip-wait, I don't want to get banned again. Like one of those dreams where you're naked in front of a thousand people and giving a dissertation on Oedipus and his mother. We've all had that dream. Right? Wait, right?

Thing is, we can totally see your mistakes too. No one yells at you for eating an AOE, unless it's a catalyst in a bigger wipe like on Titan HM. And you think no one's watching when you were healing your fairy instead of the tank for the last ten seconds because you're watching House of Cards on Netflix and Kevin Spacey is too dreamy (gross) to tear your eyes away. If tanks made a lot of the trivial mistakes DPS or Healers do with even slight frequency, you'd definitely notice, because you'd be clicking on that glowing shortcut - which by the way, really needs some work.

It's easy to criticize someone when they have the balls or audacity - in some cases - to take up motorcross racing when the closest thing you've come to motorcross is driving to the store at 2am fueled by whiskey and false security to pick up more pizza pockets. But no one yells at you when you're driving drunk as long as you get away with it and no one finds out. Which is a luxury we don't have.

I know what you're going to say, if you're even a little competent at punching holes in arguments; "Mad Macallan, surely I'm not a motor cross driver for a variety of reasons, but if I decided to be a motor cross driver I'd be good at it, because people would be counting on me." Great argument, anonymous guy. Or at least it would be, if you consider most people don't want to be tanks (as evident by the DF) because it's a tough job and only a few of us are gluttons for punishment - literally, in this case, in both respect to tanking as a job and angry party members. Whoa.

More importantly, someone *has* to do it and given the above reasons, we're already a thin group. Maybe it's time to show a little respect, offer advice when you feel it's helpful, and appreciate the fact that your mistakes can go ignored while ours delivers a repair bill and prompts a slew of murderous insults.

Much Love,

Mad Macallan

Note: I'll tank for you. I'm on Cactuar and I'm awesome. Look me up or send a friend request.

[TeganLaron]

I'm not too sure where this opinion comes from to be honest. In line with the thread's generalisation of the community, I would say that tanks are the rudest most belligerent class I tend to come across. Most likely due to your number two point "we're a dying breed." Tanks know they can talk to and treat people however they want, because people need them. So we just have to put up with it.

Again I would like to reiterate that I am simply generalising in line with the thread, as I have of course met many tanks who were polite decent people like everybody else. However in terms of which group of people I've found to be rudest to me personally, tanks all the way I'm afraid.

[Eekiki]

However in terms of which group of people I've found to be rudest to me personally, tanks all the way I'm afraid.

Interesting, because as a tank I've found the general group of people that are rudest to me are healers.

Funny how that works, isn't it? ^_^

[Ebon_Drake]

playing my Bard.. love the duty finder sound when I FINALLY get a dungeon after waiting an hour.. "God, That took forever.. wooo WP!!" Tank runs in, doesn't even wait for protect, Starts mashing a mob with blinders on. 3 mobs beeline to healer after he casts cure1, healer drops. I'm DPSing the shoot out of mobs on the healer trying to gain damage agro after seeing the tank isn't paying attention. Tank starts cursing at healer crying the team sucks and quits..

ugh FML..







playing my Paladin.. Duty finder sound makes me wince when it goes off 3 seconds after I click find duty.. "Oh God.. That was too fast.. Everyone is going to be cool this run.. DPS won't frontload.. Healer won't overheal.. It's gonna be ok.."

Wait for protect, try and explain my party dynamics and start marking mobs. Bard runs off, AOE, starts dumping damage into mob 2. Lancer is at mob one jumping like a gnat in heat. I rush to the middle of it spamming flash, shield lob and trying to regain enmity with combos. healer is going ape-snot crazy trying to heal 3 people. bard"lol tank sucks" lancer"lawl noob" Bard runs off and pulls again with AOEs.

ugh FML..

I get some good groups, don't get me wrong, they're just not the majority..

[TeganLaron]

Interesting, because as a tank I've found the general group of people that are rudest to me are healers.

Funny how that works, isn't it? ^_^

Indeed it is

[Noahlimits]

Snip

This +1. I rarely hear a dps berating a tank, since the tank can leave and get a instant que while the DPS would have to eat a 45 minute + wait. Even if the tank was terribad.

It also doesn't work out well when the tank completely ignores advice and is a general jerk.

Things I usually ask a tank to do/say to the tank:

1. Please mark the targets (when I notice every dps is swinging at a different mob after the first)
2. (If for some reason the fight ended prematurely and he still has regen on) Please cancel your regen by right clicking so I don't get hate on the next pull
3. I notice you have a i20 weapon when you're level 34. You can get a cheap replacement for less than 1k gil in the auction house.
4. You're level 35 and still Gladiator/Warrior. Do you need assistance / information on how to become a paladin/warrior?

And the usual response from the tank is "STFU NUB".

[MadMacallan]

playing my Bard.. love the duty finder sound when I FINALLY get a dungeon after waiting an hour.. "God, That took forever.. wooo WP!!"

playing my Paladin.. Duty finder sound makes me wince when it goes off 3 seconds after I click find duty.. "Oh God.. That was too fast.. Everyone is going to be cool this run.. DPS won't frontload.. Healer won't overheal.. It's gonna be ok.."

I can relate. I went from sobbing hysterically waiting for the pop to actually being annoyed when it pops too quickly. Grass is always greener, and whatnot.

[Azoryl]

Funny in the difference of opinions.

I love tanking, DPS and healing. Though tanking and healing are my favorite by far. However, I was playing my 50 BLM and me and the other dps got complimented by the tank and healer for being awesome dps.

[XiaoliVorgan]

I lurv you. I'm not even a tank, but I've played the healer role and its just as stressful. If the tank or healer dies in most cases, its a wipe however, if Sam BamBam eats double AoEs, its possible to res them up and continue. I try to compliment tanks, especially if they start feeling bad and downing themself. First time in a dungeon, everyone is a noob and people seem to forget that very quick, or rather they do remember but don't care because they aren't really a team player, they just had the poo luck of having to do X dungeon to get X. Queues are not only longer due to folks retiring tank, but folks retiring in general. I'd rather wait 4 months for everyone in my FC or Linkshells to be able to put a group together than to use DF and end up with some nerd raging from the safey of their basement behind a monitor. However, not all my FC feels this way and some of them are still doing story mode and I want to help so most times we end up pugging 1.

KUDOS Mr. Mac. I loled very hard at your instagram comparison. I bet you nailed it directly on the head with that one. Take my LIKE!

[Eekiki]

Things I usually ask a tank to do/say to the tank:

1. Please mark the targets (when I notice every dps is swinging at a different mob after the first)
2. (If for some reason the fight ended prematurely and he still has regen on) Please cancel your regen by right clicking so I don't get hate on the next pull
3. I notice you have a i20 weapon when you're level 34. You can get a cheap replacement for less than 1k gil in the auction house.
4. You're level 35 and still Gladiator/Warrior. Do you need assistance / information on how to become a paladin/warrior?

And the usual response from the tank is "STFU NUB".

Are you really that polite when you say those things?

And is that really the response you get usually?

Really?