For when you hit 50, remember you can cast flare 3 times in a row with the right rotation.
I do this: Raging Strikes -> Quelling Strikes -> Fire III -> Swiftcast -> Flare -> Convert -> Flare -> X-Ether -> Flare. DPS FOR DAYS. I'm i122 but I can get usually 2500-3000 a hit on all mobs and with crit about 4000 per flare. Basically just nuke everything tbh. Most of the time I'll just do double flares in dungeons as to not waste an ether but for some fights that adds need to die quickly. It's the way to go.

As for stealing hate either use Quelling like everyone has said or just give the tank a few seconds before you start attacking to secure aggro.