"I Was Out of That!" (Some Life Lessons)

[Purrfectstorm]

Hi, everyone. Today I was bored and thought I'd DF Titan EX. It was a pretty standard run: players dying right away and raging in chat about how they were really "out of that!" After a few wipes, I left, but I was thinking about how people don't care for excuses.

I used to work as a customer service manager and one thing I learned from that time was that. In this life, how people feel about you is directly proportional to the value you provide for them. This includes friends, family, spouses, bosses, coworkers, and so on. Sure, the closer the connection, the more likely people will be tolerant of flaws, but generally this rule works.

In FFXIV context, being able to clear content is important. That is why this community is often called "toxic." In reality, any situation where you depend on other people and they continually let you down is going to create some hostility. I am not defending jerks out there because if you're frustrated with someone, you can kick them or leave yourself. What I am saying is personal accountability goes a long way towards generating the goodwill of other people.

What does that mean? It means, generally speaking, you should watch a video or learn about a difficult fight before joining/queuing for groups. You should let other players know you are new. And you should do everything in your power to give yourself the greatest chance of success (i.e. be geared for the content, come with enough time to complete it, and expect a learning curve - from yourself and others).

This last is particularly important. There are two mindsets: fixed mindset and growth mindset. In a fixed mindset, people are good or bad at something and they'll likely stay that way. In a growth mindset, people start out bad, but they get better.

Most of this community has a fixed mindset. This stops all types of players from getting better or daring to challenge content (same thing applies to real life of course). Bad players feel like they'll always be bad and good players feel like they have nothing to improve on. Some good players keep themselves out of content because if they challenge content and fail it will ruin their self-concept (that they are a good player). And this is why you see the blame game so much when people try challenging content.

We all have an internal critic and an internal defender and these voices inside ourselves often limit our growth. The critic says that you are worthless and you'll never amount to anything and the defender says that everyone else is just a bunch of n00bs. We're all best served by finding a middle ground. Tell the critic that his assessment is harsh, maybe you're bad now but you'll get better. And tell the defender that you can't do anything about other people and you're better off trying to find areas where you can personally improve.

One of the most important things I've learned in this life is that winners tell themselves the truth. In order to do that, we have to overcome our fear of looking within or being accountable.

TLDR

- Don't make excuses (no one cares why you cannot execute)
- How people feel about you is proportional to the value you provide them
- What we lack in natural ability can be compensated for with practice and hard work
- You can't control what others do. It is wrong to ask "Why do these things happen to me?" Instead ask: "What can I do right now to make this situation better?"
- Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone once in a while

[Lilyarel]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

[RiceisNice]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5g4TM1fkCg

But she was out of that!

[Jamein]

When all else fails, blame lag.

Then ask, what would Brian Boitano do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNJmfuEWR8w

[Catwho]

The "I was out of that!" I think is less of an excuse and more of a complaint against the software not recognizing player movement in the expected manner. Fights like Titan Ex are not tolerant of lag.

One trick that a FC mate taught me - and this goes along with your "growth" mindset - is that if you make a sharp right angle and run parallel to the landslide or WotL immediately after exiting the ground AOE area, it forces the server to update your position faster than if you keep running in a straight line. I don't know whether it's true or not, but I do know that if I have that half second to make the sharp turn, that meant I exited fast enough to escape the ground AOE.

The biggest flaw that the XIV community has is lack of communication. This really became evident in the number of times people have failed Steps of Faith. Some groups with good communication rolled in and beat it on the second or third try. Others took a dozen or more tries in Duty Finder to find a group capable of communicating properly. Having a growth mindset doesn't help you clear content when the other 7 people are in the fixed mindset and not able to understand your instructions....

[CYoung187]

Or instead of judging another player on the internet, realize that things like lag exist and may make things difficult for people other then you.

[Purrfectstorm]

Having a growth mindset doesn't help you clear content when the other 7 people are in the fixed mindset and not able to understand your instructions....

Sometimes all you can do is find another group of 7 people

Also, just to clarify: I'm not saying lag doesn't exist. Only that other players don't care that you're lagging. Everyone wants to clear content and if you're a liability, for whatever reason, people want you out of their group. There are ways of dealing with lag other than forcing other players to do the lion's share of the work:

- Learn ways to compensate (e.g. moving right when Titan turns around, before WotL or LS animation)
- Wait for a time when the lag is less severe to clear that piece of content
- Form a group that doesn't mind working harder because of your lag (e.g. your FC)
- Get a better internet provider or switch to a closer server
- Petition SE for easier and/or more lag forgiving fights
- Play a different game

The last is extreme but the alternative to all of these options is to become used to player hostility towards you for holding groups back.

[CYoung187]

The "I was out of that!" I think is less of an excuse and more of a complaint against the software not recognizing player movement in the expected manner. Fights like Titan Ex are not tolerant of lag.

One trick that a FC mate taught me - and this goes along with your "growth" mindset - is that if you make a sharp right angle and run parallel to the landslide or WotL immediately after exiting the ground AOE area, it forces the server to update your position faster than if you keep running in a straight line. I don't know whether it's true or not, but I do know that if I have that half second to make the sharp turn, that meant I exited fast enough to escape the ground AOE.

Another tip is to perform some sort of action as you exit. As a dragoon the first thing I do after getting out of a weight or landslide is throw my spear. Then the server has to log that action and position.

[Lilyarel]

*snip*

Pretty much this. Steps of Faith is rather easy if people just cooperate. And someone is going to have to step up and be the "leader" and that person might have to be you.

[Eye_Gore]

you should watch a video or learn about a difficult fight before joining/queuing for groups. You should let other players know you are new.

I hate this mind set. I often wonder how did the first group doing Titan ever clear it without watching a video, and did they make a video while they did it so the second group could watch and so on?

I often see people in Titan say they are new and the most I usually see anyone say is "dodge stuff" while the MT or someone else is already pulling.