"I Was Out of That!" (Some Life Lessons)

[Purrfectstorm]

Hi, everyone. Today I was bored and thought I'd DF Titan EX. It was a pretty standard run: players dying right away and raging in chat about how they were really "out of that!" After a few wipes, I left, but I was thinking about how people don't care for excuses.

I used to work as a customer service manager and one thing I learned from that time was that. In this life, how people feel about you is directly proportional to the value you provide for them. This includes friends, family, spouses, bosses, coworkers, and so on. Sure, the closer the connection, the more likely people will be tolerant of flaws, but generally this rule works.

In FFXIV context, being able to clear content is important. That is why this community is often called "toxic." In reality, any situation where you depend on other people and they continually let you down is going to create some hostility. I am not defending jerks out there because if you're frustrated with someone, you can kick them or leave yourself. What I am saying is personal accountability goes a long way towards generating the goodwill of other people.

What does that mean? It means, generally speaking, you should watch a video or learn about a difficult fight before joining/queuing for groups. You should let other players know you are new. And you should do everything in your power to give yourself the greatest chance of success (i.e. be geared for the content, come with enough time to complete it, and expect a learning curve - from yourself and others).

This last is particularly important. There are two mindsets: fixed mindset and growth mindset. In a fixed mindset, people are good or bad at something and they'll likely stay that way. In a growth mindset, people start out bad, but they get better.

Most of this community has a fixed mindset. This stops all types of players from getting better or daring to challenge content (same thing applies to real life of course). Bad players feel like they'll always be bad and good players feel like they have nothing to improve on. Some good players keep themselves out of content because if they challenge content and fail it will ruin their self-concept (that they are a good player). And this is why you see the blame game so much when people try challenging content.

We all have an internal critic and an internal defender and these voices inside ourselves often limit our growth. The critic says that you are worthless and you'll never amount to anything and the defender says that everyone else is just a bunch of n00bs. We're all best served by finding a middle ground. Tell the critic that his assessment is harsh, maybe you're bad now but you'll get better. And tell the defender that you can't do anything about other people and you're better off trying to find areas where you can personally improve.

One of the most important things I've learned in this life is that winners tell themselves the truth. In order to do that, we have to overcome our fear of looking within or being accountable.

TLDR

- Don't make excuses (no one cares why you cannot execute)
- How people feel about you is proportional to the value you provide them
- What we lack in natural ability can be compensated for with practice and hard work
- You can't control what others do. It is wrong to ask "Why do these things happen to me?" Instead ask: "What can I do right now to make this situation better?"
- Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone once in a while

[Lilyarel]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

[SpookyGhost]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

This video is over a year old.

Also, lag happens. I understand when people get hit by something because they lagged. Sometimes people get hit by things and then just pretend it's lag, but that's often not the case. Sometimes when there's a bunch of people using my internet connection, I lag tremendously - at this point I realize that all I'm doing is holding back the group until I get that sorted, so instead of just complaining every time I get hit by something, I leave. There's no point in making the group suffer because your internet is currently sucking or sucks in general for whatever reason.

[Almalexia]

This video is over a year old.

Did you watch it? That WHM was new to the fight or had lame reaction time. I could tell he was going to get zonked by every mechanic before it even connected.

The boss AI follows a strict pattern that you can anticipate and counter. Your anal sphincter should be clenching and your movement key primed before the mechanic begins. That guy was lingering in the AoE far too long; he needs to work on his sphincter clenches.

[Caoihmin]

needs to work on his sphincter clenches.

You had me at "sphincter".

[Elmeron]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

There is some truth to this... I have broadband internet with a beast of a gaming rig, and even I have experienced the occasional (and all too annoying) experience of definitely having gotten out of the way of AOE in time, and still somehow being hit by that said AOE.

[Sapphic]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

That WHM was just bad. keyboard turning, Mouse clicker for everything slows you down a helluva lot. Only lag was player lag in that, not connection. Just look how long he takes to respond to moving out of landslides. He stays within the telegraph for nearly 3 seconds.

Once you get used to hotkeying everything and using the mouse to move and steer, you never look back.

[RiceisNice]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5g4TM1fkCg

But she was out of that!

[Massterchef]

... You do realize there is an actual delay between client and actually moving?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0bMV6BVJSU

Go to 1:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5g4TM1fkCg

But she was out of that!

It's funny how many people will link those exact 'year old' videos knowing that the positional server response has improved by a huge margin since then.

Those aren't proof, it's about time to stop linking them.

[TheMax1087]

It's funny how many people will link those exact 'year old' videos knowing that the positional server response has improved by a huge margin since then.

Those aren't proof, it's about time to stop linking them.

You say that, but the last update to player position update frequency(in patch 2.1 back in December 2013) happened a month before the first vid you quoted.