I main Paladin, and got both WHM and SCH to 50 with zenith relics specifically so I could help others. My only DPS class at 50 is Summoner, which is practically a freebie when you level Scholar. I think you are right though, very many more people play dps exclusively vs people who play tank or healer combined. I'm probably atypical in that no amount of stupid or rude behavior in a dungeon will make me quit being a tank or healer though, it's how I enjoy playing. But, I have heard a lot of tanks and healers who feel the way you describe. My wife exclusively plays a healer, and if she did not have me as a tank and some good dps friends she'd probably never venture into a dungeon as a healer again because of the stress put on her by the attitudes of many other players (tank and dps alike).
Players who feel as my wife does are the players who stop using duty finder, start playing exclusively solo content, or become alienated from the game and leave. In a way, we get the community we deserve. The way people are in Duty Finder and other content is sometimes really offensive, if people don't speak up or push back against that behavior it can become the norm, which ultimately alienates other parts of the community and new players. That's potentially a self inflicted wound on the community and a downward spiral for the population numbers.
I think you are right about saying good things and I'll go further by saying that communication, civility, pleasantries and taking it easy would greatly enhance the game experience for many. As you say so, that is assuming that such things are deserved/reciprocated. Though even when faced with rude, stupid or abusive behavior, it costs nothing to remain civil - something everyone needs to remember.
Why is the satisfaction of helping others insufficient reward? Don't get me wrong, I know that more material rewards will attract more players to given content. But even so, why is it that so few people see the value of the satisfaction gained from helping others?

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