You are not a fail.

[Chihaya]

And those 'examples' have zilch to do with the topic.

Refering to:

As a Healer that doesn't want to AoE or cleric stance.
As a DPS that wants to kill adds hitting the healer instead of burning boss.
As a tank taking it slow or pulling only two groups.
As a player wanting to do mechanics instead of ignore them.
As a new player to the dungeon dying to mechanics in a forced, silent speed run.
As a human being trying to remember what having fun means.

I have no problem with rest of the OP's post (seriously, who is just going to come out and say harassment is good, it is just stating the obvious)
but some of those example is just seems like some players being bad and uncompromising to other players especially the "mechanics" part.
I mentioned, there's a difference between a speedrun that is beyond what your party can handle vs just trying to make the run a bit easier/quicker - especially in case of burning bosses down is what the majority people do and actually handling the mechanics half-assed that actually makes the run harder.