You are not a fail.

[NyarukoW]

...hrow out a random example...
Personally I say that DF is for both types of runs, ...

And you can use toilet water for drinking too while you are at it, I'm sure you've caught your pet cat or dog doing that and had to get into a habit of keeping the lid down. The DF is meant to bring players together to play together, not for players to abuse each other with forced speed runs. Even those with monkey butts for brains can understand that the DF is not designed for bring speed runners together, so it is unreasonable to expect to speed run on the DF, anymore can you expect to clear or much less 1-shot T9 on the DF.