If you're new to the game, try other FCs first. Just because you had a bad experience in Destiny, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be replicated in the FFXIV, they are 2 totally different games with different communities with little overlap. If anything, understand the social dynamics that may require one to run a Small / Large FC. See how it is on the low end of things. Do the leaders help, do they teach the game, etc. Then when you're more knowledgeable try the waters then.

As for gaining support, be active, be helpful, and stay positive. People enjoy those qualities. You stated somethings about Destiny, some of the qualities will be appreciated here, but dont try to mimic them. Develop them organically with a proper knowledge of the game.