I'm sorry for your bad experience OP.
Speed Runs aren't the "norm" by far, but a fair number of people do them. However, what some people don't seem to understand that SR's require the entire party to be on the same page.

As a tank, I always try and asses my party. I first check the HP of everyone and if I see someone has low HP, I will examine him/her. I always ask my group how they want me to pull. If they don't answer, my default is a small/pull. If there is a newbie to the group and they I feel that they can't keep up with an SR (due to lack of exp or gear), I go to my default solution.
If there are two melees in my party, sorry but SR's won't happen- unless the party specifically asks for it.

I do my best to communicate with the party. By and large people respond but then you get those people who refuse to type ... and you can never tell if it's because they're just that lazy or because of a language barrier = =;;

That being said, I'm glad you've decided to try tanking. ^_^ Yay! Thank you for being part of the solution! -feeds cookies-