In-Game Parser.

[Nominous]

SE knows the problems it causes. It has its pros and cons but they decided against it.

There's many pros. There's one, singular con. The one con is a fear that is inappropriately pinned on the parser itself, and not the few idiots who are hopelessly toxic in the first place, even if you removed parsing from the equation. Widespread availability doesn't somehow make people more toxic. A person who was harassing you before, will just have new reasons to harass you. Does it change how you feel about them? No. You think they're a jerk regardless. If they didn't have a parser, would they still harass you? They'd find a reason in anything if it meant being annoying.