Don't tell me what to do!

[Ardent_Dawn]

Usually, the one being harassed really can't defend themselves. It will just make things worse. It's up to other players to stand up for them.

I partied with this incredibly rude, condescending WHM a few days ago. She spent every boss fight insulting me and telling me to try harder, which caused her to die over and over again. I had to do both our jobs. Though I attempted to stand up for myself, she just kept jabbing me while the rest of the team was silent. i, personally, would have sincerely appreciated anyone on the team sticking up for me.

People don't want to be the odd one out as it tends to put them in an uncomfortable and often vulnerable position. Remember high school, when some tough kid would point out the weakest in the room and shame them in any way they could? Remember that rarely did anyone go next to the other kid and tell the bully to back off? The internet is a lot like high school. #noescape

[Lukha]

I have a strict policy: 'he who whines about heals, gets no heals', which I'm also happy to apply to rude players of any description.

By all means, remind me to switch off cleric stance, or make a suggestion regarding my strategy, but you'd damn well better be polite about it.

I have been known to get cranky at Bards who don't play ballad when both healers are out of MP, though.

[Tiggy]

I have a strict policy: 'he who whines about heals, gets no heals', which I'm also happy to apply to rude players of any description.

So you respond to a player telling you you're bad by being bad? Way to be the bigger person. Seriously people....All you're doing is confirming what he said and then trolling. Two wrongs do not make a right. You're just as bad in this situation.

[Azper]

I tend to just suffer in silence when I'm grouped with black mages not using Flare, bards not playing any songs, tanks overpulling, etc. The one time I tried to offer advice, the player responded by telling me, "eat a <male reproductive organ>"

Ever since then I generally don't say anything to anyone. If it gets to a point where it's hindering the run, I'll vote kick or just leave myself. I'd rather take a 30 minute penalty and go do something else for awhile than play with stupid.

[Kazumac]

Helping someone out with advice is usually good but as others have said, some will always interpret it poorly no matter how positive you phrase it. With random groups I just think... Can we live with them playing like that? If yes then I don't say anything as it isn't worth the effort.

To the OP's question of someone being a jerk... Vote kick ASAP. I don't have time to deal with those types. You don't need to argue with them, explain to them that they are a jerk, start a flame war, etc. just remove them.

[Xhominid]

If someone is being a jerk to me or people in my party, I'll usually get vocal on them. There are nice ways to get your point across, use them.

If they continue to act like asshats, I try and votekick them and if that doesn't happen, I'll leave because it's not worth it being with asses like them to begin with.

I pay $15 a month for this game and I still enjoy the storyline even after running through it multiple times, I DO NOT regret it, but seeing people like them kills my enjoyment bif time.

[Starlord]

It really all depends on the situation and by that I mean:

1) The content in question that they are doing with me
2) Attitude in which the person in question is giving

If the content is easy enough that any type of gameplay would be fine. I will not say a word ( I normally don't say much anyways lol)
If the content is hard enough that warrants a degree of skill that the class needs changing, I may speak up ( again I don't normally speak much)
If the content is really hard ( like Coil) complete focus of said Job is required. Because if one doesn't focus on their job in this content it makes the rest of the party suffer. ( Highly likely to say something at this point).

Most of the time though as long as they are "somewhat" playing their job correctly, I won't say a thing as long as we don't wipe 10 times because of it.

[Coldheart]

In my humble opinion, for "suboptimal play" you can offer some advices (and please be polite when doing this), but the player doesn't have to agree.

If a player is playing wrong and causing troubles to the party, I tell him (or her) the problem and I give some advice ("please attack the nail or the party will be wiped"). But constant harrassment it's not acceptable.

And there is a big difference between "playing suboptimal" and "playing wrong".

You play suboptimal when you don't use your skills in best possible way. For example: as Thaumaturge stay unnecessarily in Umbral Ice stance. A dungeon may get harder or slower, but is still doable without major hindrances.

You play wrong when you don't use your primary skills at all or very rarely or ignore a key boss mechanic . For example: a Thaumaturge that never use Fire or a DPS that never attack the Infernal Nail during Ifrit trial. A dungeon will get harder and slower, and maybe cause one or more wipes.

[Sapphic]

If a player is playing wrong and causing troubles to the party, I tell him (or her) the problem and I give some advice ("please attack the nail or the party will be wiped"). But constant harrassment it's not acceptable.

Problem is there are too many cases where the player either ignores any advice and "still doesn't attack the nail" (using that as an example of ignoring mechanics that will probably wipe the party) either because they don't care or they select a language they don't understand for a first time run thus explanations fall on deaf ears.

[Yukariko]

what always enters my my mind, and one of you guys can explain, is how do you know?
sure it's pretty easy to tell if dps is generically slow by how many times a boss's mechanics loop or if you're hitting an enrage timer, but how do you know which dps is at fault and at which point in their rotation they are going wrong?

I personally don;t have a keen eye and I'm concentrating on what I'm doing rather than watching what other people are doing.

is it just watching the debuffs/buffs that appear in the party window? I generally keep my mouth shut but often just wanna bark "how about you worry about your own rotation that worrying about theirs" when i see this happening

that said, if you are going to give advice always explain why something should be done different. generally will go down a lot better.