Okay so a couple things/suggestions:
1. First off, looks like you're level 44ish. (which is fine) And your gear also looks okay for the most part (you'll be getting some new gear when you do your level 45 story mission)
-Starting from Stone Vigil, basically until you hit level 50 the dungeons and their mobs get far harder on tanks/healers. Seriously, this is a steep learning curve for both roles. So even an experienced level 50, uber geared healer will likely not 'stance dance' much in lets say 'Stone Vigil' with an at level/at gear level or below tank in the party.
2. Much of that 'Stance Dance' talk you hear of is actually 'once you hit level 50' and start gearing/speed running stuff. But until you have the gear/skills (Holy and Benediction for example), it's not really that necessary. (Yes, people like Holy for the 1-room clear runs...but you can opt in or out of those as those runs are in PF parties and not DF).
3. Don't Stance dance when you're actually leveling/in a new for you dungeon. If you have downtime, practice casting DD spells but don't swap into CS to do so...just take the potency hit on your DD spells so you don't trip yourself up if you have an unexpected spike in healing to do.
4. If you want to learn to stance dance:
Start in the nooblet level dungeons where you currently over-gear them by a landslide. (also, these dungeons are foregiving and a +CS heal will still be fairly effective)
Basically your rotation is this low level (sub 30)
+CS
Aero tanks target>Stone Tanks Target
-CS
Cure Tank
+CS Stone tanks Target x2
-CS
Cure Tank
+CS
Aero next mob>Stone x2-4 (depending on tank health)
-CS
Cure Tank
+CS
Aero>Stone til mob is dead
go to next pile/repeat.
Again though, first practice this WITHOUT stance dancing...then as you get the timing down, add in the CS. Also, initally don't let tank drop below 60% health...later you can let them get down to 30-40% (depending on how you heal/how white knuckle you like to ride things etc)...but 60% is where you should aim to heal when learning the stance dance thing to give yourself breathing room.
Anyway, once you get it down in the nooblet dungeons, pick higher and higher level dungeons to practice in until you feel comfy doing the 'stance dance' at level (when you have a non-squishy/at level tank w/ you). Basically the only thing that changes is once you get Regen, toss it on the tank once he gets hate then +CS Aero (pattern above). Also, you're the healer...a very reactive role, so don't be tied to a 'rotation' be ready to drop a Cure II bomb...or to Repose that pesky add etc. But if you work your way up a couple levels of dungeons at a time to practice, you should be okay.
This btw, is the 'non Holy' low level DPS as WHM pattern.
At 50, it gets more 'interesting' But honestly, wait until your 50 and then if you need assistance on how to do this, ask again as atm, you don't even have these skills on your bar.
5. A BIG part of the 'stance dance' thing is knowing when NOT to do it/when you can't handle it yet. Your friends are right...you're only real job in the party is to HEAL. That's all you technically need to do to be effective at your role. Yes, dpsing helps 'speed' things along, but really that's only true if you can do so without any wipes. A wipe or two though and your dps is totally negated. So it goes back to practice, and knowledge. Trial and error.
6. Macroing CS will likely cause you more headaches than it's worth. You're better off (imo) to manually enter it.


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