The "million mats" thing sticks out to me.
No single item in the game requires more than 8 individual items (2 crystals+6 materials) to make.
Compare to other MMOs where it wasn't unusual for some items to require 12 or more items to make, some of which were subcombines on their own...we're spoiled.
Seriously, and I mean this with kindness, if you can't handle the tedious aspects of FFXIV, you are not going to be able to handle other MMOs. There's a reason FFXIV is called, both derisively and not, a "theme park" or "gateway" MMO.
This is the way the entire genre is built because, unlike single player games where the goal is just to get you to buy it, an MMO has to keep you playing. Introducing new, fresh, interesting content is always what everyone involved really wants, but it takes time to create and polish. And the game still has to produce money in that time.
Thus, the necessity of a grind and gated content. Again this isn't some sort of silly design decision by a single company, it's a lifeblood backbone of the theme park MMO subgenre (MMORPGs are broken into "Sandbox," such as SWG, Arche Age, and EVE; and "Theme Park" which is FFXIV, FFXI, EQ1+2, and WoW)
If you don't like it, then the genre is not for you.