Quote Originally Posted by MeiUshu View Post
in saying someone needs to be tactfull you are saying that THEIR feeling are more important then mines.
Probable troll, but still worth saying:

Tact is not saying that the other person's feelings are more important than yours. Tact is saying that the other person's feelings are important.

You are correct that dancing around the issue can lead to misunderstandings and difficulty, but unrelenting bluntness leads to a preponderance of negativity, which can impact people in a lot of bad ways (poor work performance, hopelessness, even suicidal tendencies).

It is important to be blunt only when doing so is useful and necessary. Do you think the happy couple's baby is ugly? What good does it do to tell the couple that? Does it help them to solve any problem? Does it improve their, or your life in any way? In this case, use tact; say the baby is charming, even if it's not really true - and while it may not be true to you, it probably IS true to the couple.

A friend has performed their own repairs on their car. While they are proud of their work, you can tell that the vehicle is a deathtrap. Do you congratulate them on a job well done? That would likely be a bad idea. You need to let them know that they are in danger. Of course, even there, there's a difference between saying, "You're a crappy mechanic, and if you drive this you will die." and "I don't think this vehicle looks safe; you really ought to have a professional take a look at it." Even when being blunt, it's best to choose a method that will spare the listener's feelings.

Interacting with people causes social friction. Tact is the grease that soothes that friction. That said, when the social machine is broken, bluntness may be the tool needed to fix the problem.

Using tact all the time, or being blunt all the time - both of these are lazy solutions that do more harm than good. A wise person will examine each situation, and apply the correct tool as needed.