A Lesson in Tactfulness

[Aegis]

Did I say possible? Sorry, definite.

I think I found the root of the issue. This isn't something you gleaned from actually interacting with people, its something you picked up in language class. I'll say it again, tact isn't cultural/national/racial. It's something you learn with interacting with others.

To your language point, every group has it's own linguistic bits that allow them to signal each other (My favorite is the southern idiom "Bless his heart") without appearing to be rude.

It's actually something a 50-something year old Japanese woman who is paid to teach Japanese language and culture taught me. I assume she knows what she is talking about. Bless his heart isn't really a Southern thing, it's common in the UK too. It can be affectionate or patronising depending on how it's used. Often both.

[Teryaani]

It's actually something a 50-something year old Japanese woman who is paid to teach Japanese language and culture taught me. I assume she knows what she is talking about. Bless his heart isn't really a Southern thing, it's common in the UK too. It can be affectionate or patronising depending on how it's used. Often both.

And my French professor in college was an elderly woman who grew up in the south of France. From her I heard all sorts of things about the French character which after meeting and working with actual French people turned out to be nothing more than a pile of stereotypes that applied to none of them. Her job as a language teacher is to get you interested in the language and culture and you will get a very rose colored glasses view of it.