A Lesson in Tactfulness

[MeiUshu]

tact = form of hypocrisy....
Tact = form of lie

Tact = sending someone to hell giving him /her the impression to go to heaven.

Question : why on Earth should I try to place myself in the other person shoe before I say something ? why on Earth should I do that ? in saying someone needs to be tactfull you are saying that THEIR feeling are more important then mines. I am not responsible on how other people understand what I say, that is purely on them, if they decide to take it as being a hurtful mean,well no matter how I will say it it will be taken as hurtful..so best say it point blank at least it is clear and straight to the point..no misunderstandings or unspoken truth which make everything more difficult.

By having tact or in other words, being politically correct, you are just telling to people what they want to hear...rather then what you want them to hear. Kind of dumb.

Up to them if they are annoyed or not...why shoudl I care of that frankly ? why ?

Mei

[LineageRazor]

in saying someone needs to be tactfull you are saying that THEIR feeling are more important then mines.

Probable troll, but still worth saying:

Tact is not saying that the other person's feelings are more important than yours. Tact is saying that the other person's feelings are important.

You are correct that dancing around the issue can lead to misunderstandings and difficulty, but unrelenting bluntness leads to a preponderance of negativity, which can impact people in a lot of bad ways (poor work performance, hopelessness, even suicidal tendencies).

It is important to be blunt only when doing so is useful and necessary. Do you think the happy couple's baby is ugly? What good does it do to tell the couple that? Does it help them to solve any problem? Does it improve their, or your life in any way? In this case, use tact; say the baby is charming, even if it's not really true - and while it may not be true to you, it probably IS true to the couple.

A friend has performed their own repairs on their car. While they are proud of their work, you can tell that the vehicle is a deathtrap. Do you congratulate them on a job well done? That would likely be a bad idea. You need to let them know that they are in danger. Of course, even there, there's a difference between saying, "You're a crappy mechanic, and if you drive this you will die." and "I don't think this vehicle looks safe; you really ought to have a professional take a look at it." Even when being blunt, it's best to choose a method that will spare the listener's feelings.

Interacting with people causes social friction. Tact is the grease that soothes that friction. That said, when the social machine is broken, bluntness may be the tool needed to fix the problem.

Using tact all the time, or being blunt all the time - both of these are lazy solutions that do more harm than good. A wise person will examine each situation, and apply the correct tool as needed.