A Lesson in Tactfulness

[ShenDrakar]

...funny stuff...

Lmao! /10char

[Noshpan]

It is quite possible to be tactful and honest. However, sometimes it's more satisfying to be colourfully salty whilest painfully honest. (German researchers have shown that profanity makes pain, say from stubbing your toe, go away faster.)

[HakuroDK]

It is quite possible to be tactful and honest. However, sometimes it's more satisfying to be colourfully salty whilest painfully honest. (German researchers have shown that profanity makes pain, say from stubbing your toe, go away faster.)

I'm not denying that. This whole thread is meant to point out that, at the core of much of the toxicity of many arguments here in the forums and in-game, it all could have been avoided with a little bit of tactful expression. Feel free to scream into your pillow or smack a tree with a stick or something to get your frustrations out. Just please try not to take it out on other people if you can help it. It's more of a "please be considerate of other people as you would have them be considerate of you" thing and less of a "you are not ever allowed to express negativity ever" thing. I mean, if you bring up a point and someone disagrees with you, you wouldn't want them treating you like crap, right?

[Elim]

I show my friends how much I like them by not being tactful at all. We call each other horrible, terrible things with all the love in the world. bff's 4 lyfe

[MirielleLavandre]

I agree completely with Burning. However, tact is something rarely seen, which is sad, so much so that even relatively constructive disagreements often can't be talked about either because someone is being 'blunt', which often is just an excuse for rudeness, or cannot rightly respond with a 'good answer' and so just end up being mean. I've had issues myself, at times, with just losing it, but I think the core value of treating people as if they were right there next to you playing, is a good one. Half of the mean things I witness in-game and on the forums I doubt would ever happen if the people were face to face. Anonymity shouldn't be en excuse to be mean and abusive. Then again...I guess this is the internet.

[Edenholt]

I agree completely with Burning. However, tact is something rarely seen, which is sad, so much so that even relatively constructive disagreements often can't be talked about either because someone is being 'blunt', which often is just an excuse for rudeness, or cannot rightly respond with a 'good answer' and so just end up being mean.I've had issues myself, at times, with just losing it, but I think the core value of treating people as if they were right there next to you playing, is a good one. Half of the mean things I witness in-game and on the forums I doubt would ever happen if the people were face to face. Anonymity shouldn't be en excuse to be mean and abusive. Then again...I guess this is the internet.

I believe that the main problem is that the gaming community degenerated into a bunch of arrogant and selfish individuals that can't phantom the possiblity that they might be wrong, that other people will have different mindsets and preferences.The GREAT majority just can't take a minute to try and see the situation from someone else's perspective, which result in endless rethorical argumentation that end with insults and all the trash talk we often see in these forums. Most forums posters don't come here for information exchange or discussions, they come to preach their opinions as facts and will attack anybody who disagree with them. The lack of tact is just the tip of the iceberg in regard of the way we treat each other.

[HakuroDK]

I believe that the main problem is that the gaming community degenerated into a bunch of arrogant and selfish individuals that can't phantom the possiblity that they might be wrong, that other people will have different mindsets and preferences.The GREAT majority just can't take a minute to try and see the situation from someone else's perspective, which result in endless rethorical argumentation that end with insults and all the trash talk we often see in these forums. Most forums posters don't come here for information exchange or discussions, they come to preach their opinions as facts and will attack anybody who disagree with them. The lack of tact is just the tip of the iceberg in regard of the way we treat each other.

You are absolutely correct that tact is just the tip of the iceberg, but if we can embrace tact, then we can at least start to get to the root of the problem!

Baby steps.

[Alistaire]

The thing is, tact at its very definition is the need/desire to not antagonize people you deal with because of the consequences. We're on the internet, what are you gonna do, caps lock me to death?

[HakuroDK]

The thing is, tact at its very definition is the need/desire to not antagonize people you deal with because of the consequences. We're on the internet, what are you gonna do, caps lock me to death?

Well, there is a difference between a consequence and a punishment. A consequence is any kind of result of an action, whereas a punishment is one person of environment directly inflicting a negative action upon someone or something for doing something wrong. I push a domino, the domino falls. That's a consequence. A parent grounds a child for getting into the cookie jar. That's a punishment. Consequence is more of a broader "cause and effect" thing.

So no one will really punish you for not using tact. No one really can fairly do anything explicitly because you don't use tact. But if you don't, you may try to help someone with a word or two of advice, those words might seem very sharp to the person receiving the advice, they may see it as a personal attack on themselves, and they might retaliate with sharp words of their own, very possibly causing a flame war fueled by pride on both sides.

Even the slightest bit of tact can prevent that from ever happening. I mean, unless you like that sort of thing, in which case feel free to ignore the thread and go about your merry way. This thread is more for people who are all like "this community is full of angry stupid people and I don't know why these idiots are mad at me."

[zar]

Those tactful responses SUCK!!! I-I mean.. they are not my style, but I could see why they're used!