A Lesson in Tactfulness

[HakuroDK]

Hey folks! I've been noticing a lot of people in-game and on the forums get into very antagonizing (and even unnecessary) arguments and I think it's time all of us sit down and learn about the beauty of tact!

*hands out papers* -> http://charactercounts.org/pdf/good_..._K5_idea31.pdf

Tact is a very useful social tool which involves some proper phrasing in order dull the sharpness of harsh truths or opinions. By phrasing things in a less sharp manner, one can give better advice or express opinions or facts without fear of defensive backlash.

I have heard many people excuse their lack of tact for being simply "honest", but all that flavor of "honesty" does is cause people to feel hurt, which can provoke feelings of defensiveness, causing them to perceive you as if you are directly attacking them, and thus they may well attack you back.

It's a consideration of how other people may react to the words that come out of your mouth and how they could come across. For example, if someone asks if they're doing a good job playing Dragoon when you can tell they are not, instead of saying "Pfft, of course you're not, stupid loldrg", it would be more tactful to say "You're doing okay, but I can give you some pointers on how to improve!"

Even just an iota of consideration for the art of tactful speech will save you and those around you a lot of frustration. Thank you very much!

Thoughts? Questions?

[Parodine]

*raises hand*

So, Mr. Passion, if I want other people to be tactful, can I just skip to the chase and load them full of tacks? Is that the same thing?

[HakuroDK]

*raises hand*

So, Mr. Passion, if I want other people to be tactful, can I just skip to the chase and load them full of tacks? Is that the same thing?

Sorry, but I don't think that would necessarily work. However, if you were to direct them to this page, I am sure they will begin to understand how it means to be tactful! Just be sure to be tactful about it yourself! Remember, if you are tactful, it may encourage others to be tactful as well! =D

[Eye_Gore]

*sniffs paper, gets high* *throws spitball at blackboard* *hits teacher with it instead* *goes to office* *skips office and heads towards parking lot, gets in car and goes and gets breakfast*

[HakuroDK]

*sniffs paper, gets high* *throws spitball at blackboard* *hits teacher with it instead* *goes to office* *skips office and heads towards parking lot, gets in car and goes and gets breakfast*

I'm sure that's from a movie somewhere...

[Eye_Gore]

I'm sure that's from a movie somewhere...

Life experience, old timers know what I mean about the paper. There was a scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High where the kids did that with the paper. Old copy machines used this weird blue ink that would get you high if the papers were fresh printed and still damp. Computers ruined that though.

[Lemuria]

Not sure that first one is a great example. What if it really doesn't look good on them? I'd be outright lying to their face! I'd probably use the line "Well, I think I prefer your old one better..."

[KodiHivaer]

Tactfulness? On a forum full of Westerners!?

You're gonna have a bad time.

[Teryaani]

Tactfulness? On a forum full of Westerners!?

You're gonna have a bad time.

Yay! Nationalism and possible racism!

Tactlessness and tactfulness are not regionally exclusive. They are formed by individual experiences

[Aegis]

Yay! Nationalism and possible racism!

TIL: Western is a race

Slightly more seriously: Japanese players are a great deal more circumspect, which can pass for tactful in a bad light. When I was studying Japanese, our teacher asked us how that Japanese say "No" we answered "Iye" and she told us that was wrong. Japanese people say "Maybe" or "Yes", but extend the sound as if the sentence were to continue when they mean "No" to avoid the confrontation and disappointment outright refusal creates.

eg.

EN: "That was a great party, I think we almost made it to twisters by the 40th attempt! Let's party again next time we're both on, OK?!"
JP: "Maybe, sure...."

or

EN: "Yoshi-P, when will we have more housing wards/plots"
Y: "We are looking into doing this, please look forward to it..."

snip

I bet you're a blast at parties.