A Lesson in Tactfulness

[Alistaire]

The thing is, tact at its very definition is the need/desire to not antagonize people you deal with because of the consequences. We're on the internet, what are you gonna do, caps lock me to death?

[HakuroDK]

The thing is, tact at its very definition is the need/desire to not antagonize people you deal with because of the consequences. We're on the internet, what are you gonna do, caps lock me to death?

Well, there is a difference between a consequence and a punishment. A consequence is any kind of result of an action, whereas a punishment is one person of environment directly inflicting a negative action upon someone or something for doing something wrong. I push a domino, the domino falls. That's a consequence. A parent grounds a child for getting into the cookie jar. That's a punishment. Consequence is more of a broader "cause and effect" thing.

So no one will really punish you for not using tact. No one really can fairly do anything explicitly because you don't use tact. But if you don't, you may try to help someone with a word or two of advice, those words might seem very sharp to the person receiving the advice, they may see it as a personal attack on themselves, and they might retaliate with sharp words of their own, very possibly causing a flame war fueled by pride on both sides.

Even the slightest bit of tact can prevent that from ever happening. I mean, unless you like that sort of thing, in which case feel free to ignore the thread and go about your merry way. This thread is more for people who are all like "this community is full of angry stupid people and I don't know why these idiots are mad at me."

[Alistaire]

Well, there is a difference between a consequence and a punishment...

So no one will really punish you for not using tact. No one really can fairly do anything explicitly because you don't use tact. But if you don't, you may try to help someone with a word or two of advice, those words might seem very sharp to the person receiving the advice, they may see it as a personal attack on themselves, and they might retaliate with sharp words of their own, very possibly causing a flame war fueled by pride on both sides.

But then my point still stands if "no one will punish (me) for not using tact"...something about the fact they can't, long as someone isn't so tactless that they defy forum rules of course.

And as far as flame wars, I determine who's worthy of help in a large part by seeing who reacts like that and who doesn't. And I won't lie, I get a good laugh out of those that prove themselves not worthy of the help. They're often quite comical.

[zar]

Those tactful responses SUCK!!! I-I mean.. they are not my style, but I could see why they're used!

[Teslo]

I have tact. I'm just a smartass. The problem with this is that sarcasm and my strange mix of deadpan and exaggeration humor doesn't translate well through text. Also I hate whiners and morons, of which the internet and MMO's are filled. Also I'm old and grumpy and don't give a $h** (But also don't want to get banned for language).

WAT DO NOW, WISE MAN!?

[HakuroDK]

I have tact. I'm just a smartass. The problem with this is that sarcasm and my strange mix of deadpan and exaggeration humor doesn't translate well through text. Also I hate whiners and morons, of which the internet and MMO's are filled. Also I'm old and grumpy and don't give a $h** (But also don't want to get banned for language).

WAT DO NOW, WISE MAN!?

I choose to respect your opinion, even though it clashes with my own, and point out that the only reason you perceive the internet and MMOs as being filled with whiners and morons is due to a general lack of empathy. Not from you, but from a large number of the internet's population.

But then my point still stands if "no one will punish (me) for not using tact"...something about the fact they can't, long as someone isn't so tactless that they defy forum rules of course.

And as far as flame wars, I determine who's worthy of help in a large part by seeing who reacts like that and who doesn't. And I won't lie, I get a good laugh out of those that prove themselves not worthy of the help. They're often quite comical.

It was never my intention to say you were wrong. I wasn't disagreeing with you, I was merely clarifying the meaning of the definition you provided.

You're allowed to do whatever you want, but there will be consequences for your actions, for the better or for the worse. Though that goes for everyone, including myself. Every action has a reaction. Every cause has an effect. Every choice has a consequence. That's scientific law. It's better to be aware of those consequences before choosing than to be aware after the choice.

[Teslo]

I choose to respect your opinion, even though it clashes with my own, and point out that the only reason you perceive the internet and MMOs as being filled with whiners and morons is due to a general lack of empathy. Not from you, but from a large number of the internet's population.

I would actually argue that it's less of a lack of empathy (Though this IS a contributing factor!) and more that the whiners and morons tend to be the vocal ones, so they're who we notice.

It is a nice thread, by the way. Good to have a positive topic to look at once in a while.

[Alistaire]

It was never my intention to say you were wrong. I wasn't disagreeing with you, I was merely clarifying the meaning of the definition you provided.

You're allowed to do whatever you want, but there will be consequences for your actions, for the better or for the worse. Though that goes for everyone, including myself. Every action has a reaction. Every cause has an effect. Every choice has a consequence. That's scientific law. It's better to be aware of those consequences before choosing than to be aware after the choice.

I see. And yeah, definitely. The consequences are, sometimes people don't accept the help that's given. It's just that I'm not concerned with that consequence if someone's not able to get over themselves and see the point in a post, even if (and especially when) it's a brutal one. If anything, the comedy that comes out of people reacting badly is a positive consequence.

[Melinabean0]

Super snip of OP

I like this thread. Good job, sir! *throws bunches of likes*

This sort of thing also helps nurture productive debate and discussion, which would be waay awesome to see happen more often. Instead of "No, YOUR WRONG!" and then more "No, you're stupid AND wrong!" from the other side, with some colorful insults in between.

And you know, respecting others is just a nice thing to do...

[Nuinn]

Good one OP, Sir.

"There's always a polite way to get your point across" someone once said and yes, if you just have to be catty/snarky/mean to someone you can still do it in a polite way.... if you've got the wit for it (see what I did there? )

Also, very important to know when not to engage and identify instigators but, I suppose that comes with mileage (as in, the older I get - the less effect drama and other people's tempers have on me).

Lastly, relax and enjoy life :3