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  1. #1
    Player
    Teryaani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Ul'dah
    Posts
    847
    Character
    Sonja Djt-bidit
    World
    Seraph
    Main Class
    Thaumaturge Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Aegis View Post
    TIL: Western is a race

    Slightly more seriously: Japanese players are a great deal more circumspect, which can pass for tactful in a bad light.
    Did I say possible? Sorry, definite.

    When I was studying Japanese,
    I think I found the root of the issue. This isn't something you gleaned from actually interacting with people, its something you picked up in language class. I'll say it again, tact isn't cultural/national/racial. It's something you learn with interacting with others.

    To your language point, every group has it's own linguistic bits that allow them to signal each other (My favorite is the southern idiom "Bless his heart") without appearing to be rude.
    (0)

  2. #2
    Player
    Aegis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,161
    Character
    Aegis Elisus
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Armorer Lv 70
    Quote Originally Posted by Teryaani View Post
    Did I say possible? Sorry, definite.

    I think I found the root of the issue. This isn't something you gleaned from actually interacting with people, its something you picked up in language class. I'll say it again, tact isn't cultural/national/racial. It's something you learn with interacting with others.

    To your language point, every group has it's own linguistic bits that allow them to signal each other (My favorite is the southern idiom "Bless his heart") without appearing to be rude.
    It's actually something a 50-something year old Japanese woman who is paid to teach Japanese language and culture taught me. I assume she knows what she is talking about. Bless his heart isn't really a Southern thing, it's common in the UK too. It can be affectionate or patronising depending on how it's used. Often both.
    (0)

  3. #3
    Player
    Fyrebrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Gridania
    Posts
    1,188
    Character
    Friel Wyndor
    World
    Siren
    Main Class
    White Mage Lv 97
    1. For Christmas, your grandmother gives you a sweatshirt which you think is ugly. She asks how
    you like it. What should you say?
    "WTF Grandma, this is is DRG gear and I'm WHM. Learn to gift, noob."

    2. You are watching TV and the phone rings. Your mom answers it and tells you it’s Jane. You
    don’t like Jane and don’t want to talk to her. What should you say?
    /blist Jane

    3. Your friend gets a new baby sister and you think it is the ugliest baby you’ve ever seen. Your
    friend asks you, “Isn’t she the cutest?” What should you say?
    "Get that baby a Fantasia, pronto!"

    4. Your teacher is walking down the hallway with a piece of trash stuck to her shoe heel. What
    should you say?
    "DPS shouldn't be pulling the trash, leave that to the tank."

    5. Your friend has been talking for 10 minutes with a big piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth.
    What should you say?
    [Vote to Kick]

    6. You are visiting your friend’s house and your friend’s mom serves liver and onions for dinner,
    which you think is disgusting. What should you say?
    [Vote to Abandon]
    (70)

  4. #4
    Player
    ShenDrakar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Uldah
    Posts
    176
    Character
    Shen Drakar
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Scholar Lv 70
    Quote Originally Posted by Fyrebrand View Post
    ...funny stuff...
    Lmao! /10char
    (2)

    *Don't argue with idiots. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

  5. #5
    Player
    Noshpan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Gridania
    Posts
    1,538
    Character
    Ganth Fyrion
    World
    Leviathan
    Main Class
    Red Mage Lv 90
    It is quite possible to be tactful and honest. However, sometimes it's more satisfying to be colourfully salty whilest painfully honest. (German researchers have shown that profanity makes pain, say from stubbing your toe, go away faster.)
    (0)
    I LIKE the fence. I get 2 groups to laugh at then.

  6. #6
    Player
    HakuroDK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Ul'dah
    Posts
    2,052
    Character
    Kinnison Cooke
    World
    Malboro
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Noshpan View Post
    It is quite possible to be tactful and honest. However, sometimes it's more satisfying to be colourfully salty whilest painfully honest. (German researchers have shown that profanity makes pain, say from stubbing your toe, go away faster.)
    I'm not denying that. This whole thread is meant to point out that, at the core of much of the toxicity of many arguments here in the forums and in-game, it all could have been avoided with a little bit of tactful expression. Feel free to scream into your pillow or smack a tree with a stick or something to get your frustrations out. Just please try not to take it out on other people if you can help it. It's more of a "please be considerate of other people as you would have them be considerate of you" thing and less of a "you are not ever allowed to express negativity ever" thing. I mean, if you bring up a point and someone disagrees with you, you wouldn't want them treating you like crap, right?
    (1)

  7. #7
    Player
    Elim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,852
    Character
    Elim Lovecraft
    World
    Faerie
    Main Class
    Gladiator Lv 50
    I show my friends how much I like them by not being tactful at all. We call each other horrible, terrible things with all the love in the world. bff's 4 lyfe
    (1)

  8. #8
    Player
    MirielleLavandre's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    647
    Character
    Gabrielle Beausejour
    World
    Halicarnassus
    Main Class
    Paladin Lv 100
    I agree completely with Burning. However, tact is something rarely seen, which is sad, so much so that even relatively constructive disagreements often can't be talked about either because someone is being 'blunt', which often is just an excuse for rudeness, or cannot rightly respond with a 'good answer' and so just end up being mean. I've had issues myself, at times, with just losing it, but I think the core value of treating people as if they were right there next to you playing, is a good one. Half of the mean things I witness in-game and on the forums I doubt would ever happen if the people were face to face. Anonymity shouldn't be en excuse to be mean and abusive. Then again...I guess this is the internet.
    (1)

  9. #9
    Player
    Edenholt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    210
    Character
    Lasdor Edenholt
    World
    Cerberus
    Main Class
    Gladiator Lv 80
    Quote Originally Posted by MirielleLavandre View Post
    I agree completely with Burning. However, tact is something rarely seen, which is sad, so much so that even relatively constructive disagreements often can't be talked about either because someone is being 'blunt', which often is just an excuse for rudeness, or cannot rightly respond with a 'good answer' and so just end up being mean.I've had issues myself, at times, with just losing it, but I think the core value of treating people as if they were right there next to you playing, is a good one. Half of the mean things I witness in-game and on the forums I doubt would ever happen if the people were face to face. Anonymity shouldn't be en excuse to be mean and abusive. Then again...I guess this is the internet.
    I believe that the main problem is that the gaming community degenerated into a bunch of arrogant and selfish individuals that can't phantom the possiblity that they might be wrong, that other people will have different mindsets and preferences.The GREAT majority just can't take a minute to try and see the situation from someone else's perspective, which result in endless rethorical argumentation that end with insults and all the trash talk we often see in these forums. Most forums posters don't come here for information exchange or discussions, they come to preach their opinions as facts and will attack anybody who disagree with them. The lack of tact is just the tip of the iceberg in regard of the way we treat each other.
    (7)

  10. #10
    Player
    HakuroDK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Ul'dah
    Posts
    2,052
    Character
    Kinnison Cooke
    World
    Malboro
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Edenholt View Post
    I believe that the main problem is that the gaming community degenerated into a bunch of arrogant and selfish individuals that can't phantom the possiblity that they might be wrong, that other people will have different mindsets and preferences.The GREAT majority just can't take a minute to try and see the situation from someone else's perspective, which result in endless rethorical argumentation that end with insults and all the trash talk we often see in these forums. Most forums posters don't come here for information exchange or discussions, they come to preach their opinions as facts and will attack anybody who disagree with them. The lack of tact is just the tip of the iceberg in regard of the way we treat each other.
    You are absolutely correct that tact is just the tip of the iceberg, but if we can embrace tact, then we can at least start to get to the root of the problem!

    Baby steps.
    (1)

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