How to handle in-game stalkers?

[jars]

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

[Marael]

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

Exactly. I find that when you ignore a stalker, or even when you tell him that it makes you uncomfortable or whatnot, it just emboldens him. I've dealt with a stalker in RL, and ignoring him didn't work at all. Telling him to leave me alone, threatening to call the police, none of that had any effect because he thought I was playing with him. He was absolutely shocked when I actually did have him arrested and got a restraining order. He thought I was playing the game with him up to then. He thought I was just trying to make the game more fun. If a stalker doesn't get harsh punishment from those in authority, he's not going to stop. Ever. That's just how the stalker mentality works. I would state in your next GM call that if SE is not going to do anything about it, you're going to go to the authorities over the matter. There's a page on the FBI.gov website about what constitutes cyber stalking, I'm not in a position where I can look up the exact link for you right now (funny that the work internet filter cuts out the FBI but not the FFXIV forums, eh?), but just using their search function should bring it up. They'll have instructions on what to do if you feel that you're being stalked. Stalking is a crime. Whether it be out in the real world, or online. You should not have to put up with it, and if the authorities within FFXIV will do nothing about it, you should certainly go to a higher authority. That behavior is unacceptable, and you should not have to put up with it for any reason, or under any circumstances. And don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You have a right to live your life free of fear, discomfort, or any other emotion this person evokes within you. It's not your fault he's an asshole that doesn't understand boundaries or social civility, it's his, and if he is not punished for it he will never stop. He probably doesn't even understand that he's doing anything wrong, and thinks that you're just playing the game with him. He will never know that his behavior is unacceptable until someone with authority steps in and makes him stop.

[Arkine]

blacklist and ignore is a terrible solution in my eyes. these people need to be told that this behavior is not acceptable and possibly reprimanded

Are you under the impression that he isn't aware that his behavior is wrong? Chances are hes fully aware that hes being a creep. It just doesn't bother him. Ignoring him is the best solution you got if you can't get a GM to handle him and every new character he makes if his gets banned.

It's a lot like a skinner box. Responding to his harassment is his reward. Ignore him and he'll eventually give up.

[Silversnow]

If the guy is spoiling anime then really your outta luck and I fully see why SE is blowing you off (and rightfully so!). Same thing about making noises next to you with training dummy. Really?

However if the guy is getting pretty creepy you should ask SE support what numbers of theirs you need to include in a police report and see what response you get out of them.

[MirielleLavandre]

@OP, I've had similar issues but don't waste your money on a name change or phial-- if this person is as terrible as you describe and really stalking you, they will just do what happened to me and look up your character via google using any of your old characters names and it will redirect him to whatever you renamed your character to/display your new race/look. If he's really paranoid, he might've just bookmarked your lodestone and then that will always keep up with any changes at all you'd do since it is done by character ID (that sucks, too, SE really needs to fix that as well as the linking old to new once someone name changes).

The only recourse left that may work, and worked for me, is transferring servers. Most people won't spend $18 just to stalk someone in a game, and if they do....well, that's a good sign it is time to take it to the real life authorities. ^_^V Good luck!!

[Devils_Lawyer]

Does this count as cyber stalking? I have his full name and address and could file against him if I needed to.

If you know his real life information just get a hold of him via phone or something and tell him to stop before he ends up getting hurt.

Alittle intimidation goes along way when he aint protected by the safety of his keyboard.

[Coatl]

If you call him he would have your phone number.
I don't think that would be worth it..

[Galliano]

Try telling him you've passed on his full name and address to the police and see if that discourages him.

[kyuven]

Call him from a phone number not your own (prepaid phone works best for this) and ask him to stop. RECORD THIS using a method of your choosing. Have a witness who is willing to corroborate the conversation took place. The more neutral the better. Make sure he's on speaker phone if you can.
Confront him again in-game (this requires taking him off blacklist) and ask him to stop. take screenshots and PHOTOGRAPHS of the conversation.
Then, go down to your local courthouse and ask for your options. Often times this will be a restraining order, it varies depending on state or jurisdiction. But basically, if he is affecting your emotional well-being and is stalking you, he is committing a crime and steps can and should be taken.
Also, file petitions with square enix as much as possible about him. Even if it doesn't work, keep at it.
Oh, and if he's bothering your ENTIRE FC? Have them all do the same. And keep filing petitions.

[Cyrus-Wallace]

How isn't that falling into "harassment", GMs? o_O What was the response that you received from them?