Gilgmesh might be a server you want to look into. I don't know any beginner static groups looking for members, but honestly I see lots of learning parties in the PF. During our prime time anyway. Pretty sure gilgamesh is one of the most active servers.

You'll still come across people who'll get upset with you, but at least you'll have a decent amount of groups to try.

I made an alt on Faerie about...two months ago? The server was extremely dead back then. That or I had bad luck. During their prime time there was maybe three or four PFs. At night there was one or none. It's probably one of the lowest populated servers I've played on.