So I had some fun with a GM while reporting RMT activity...

[Inzoum]

Reported 4-5 RMT tells in a normal, concise fashion over the past few days. Then I got bored and thought I would write just a small text in a different fashion, nothing too lengthy. This is what I came up with (corrected a few typos here):

Captain's Log
Star Date 10245014

We have been hailed via private com by an alien entity. The being attempted to strike a bargain with us. Our universal translator identified the request as an offer to exchange Old Earth artifacts known as USD for sizable sums of our current currency, G.I.L.

Our Ethics Advisor counseled against it and recommends retaliative action.

Godspeed.

- Captain Inzoum Zimia of the S.S. Gondwana


== Report Details ==

Character to report: REDACTED
Time: 8:03 PM GMT+1
World: Masamune
Message:
RMT Message identical to previous

Here's the response I got:

Greetings Captain Zimia,

Thank you for contacting this sector's space authorities and sending us your Captain's Log.

The hieroglyphics used by this alien race are indeed rather peculiar ones. We will have them forwarded to our linguistics department and try to confirm the meaning of these riddled signs.

Should the alien creature have been swallowed by your personal black hole (list), you may now try to extract what is left from it, although this may prove to be a rather delicate process. Whatever you do, try not to harm yourself. We recommend maybe sending a rookie member of your Crew in first, since it would be a shame to lose such a fine captain as yourself to a silly incident like this.

Should you encounter any other extraeorzean currency advertisement, we would be pleased if you could inform us about it as well.

Unfortunately, nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad RMT news, which obey their own special laws. At least there is usually an abundane of them.

Don't Panic,

- FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Space Authorities

...

...

This is so much more elaborate than what I expected in return T_T. I feel ashamed and honored both, though I don't know in which order.