The Abonimation Known as WTFWHM

[Fyrebrand]

You know you have a wtfwhm in your party when the tank dies while the healer is in cleric's stance.

Yep, happened to me in Sastasha for roulette today. As soon as I get in, the other 3 party members are all in the opening cutscene. At least one of them was new, and explained it was his first group instance ever. Okay, so before we get started, I did a Ready Check. The two DPS said they were not ready. Naturally, the Healer takes this as permission to rush ahead and start pulling the first group of mobs himself. We're really off to a great start...

All through the dungeon, this healer is running ahead of the group, hopping up and down as if to say "WTF are you doing, I am here for a speed run!" If I don't keep up the pace he'd like, he runs ahead and grabs the next group of mobs.

Edit: I forgot to mention, while I was checking the note that said which color coral to click on in order to trigger the first boss, he was keeping up his impatient jumping routine on the path ahead. When we actually got to the first boss's room, just before I get the chance to click on the correct coral, he hits the wrong one and proceeds to get poisoned.

When we get to the big chamber that branches off into multiple rooms, I figure since I need the experience (both level-wise and tanking-wise), and we have new people, we could explore the optional rooms, maybe do a full clear. But when I turn towards one of those rooms, the healer has already run off by himself, straight into another group of mobs on the direct route. Thanks, guy.

He has Cleric Stance on the entire time, without exception. There are numerous occasions where I am close to death, and CS never comes off.

Just before the last boss, I take a moment to explain what to do. I begin: "Okay, so for this boss..." -- he interjects immediately -- "idk". IDK? As in, "I don't know?" The speed with which he says this makes it feel more like "I don't care," but whatever. But how does he not know how to handle this boss? He has been charging through this place the whole time, and he knew exactly where to go whenever there was a branch. He's even wearing a robe that I recognize from my healer, which I'm pretty sure only drops from a dungeon. It is clearly not the healer's first time here. Anyway, I explain to click the bubbles when they start to act up or else it spawns adds, and in we go.

Do they click the bubbles? No, of course not, so I reel them in as they come. Do I get healed at all? Ha ha ha ha, no. Does the healer have the good sense to break out of Cleric Stance, even for a second? No. So, I die. The other DPS die. I watch him try to drag the fight out as long as he can, just standing there healing himself, still in Cleric Stance. I tell him he is in Cleric Stance. He doesn't respond, other than to say "Sorry I got distracted." Lovely.

We respawn back at the start, and I watch him re-apply Cleric Stance as soon as he possibly can. We did manage to beat the boss on the second attempt, but... jeez. I probably could/should have said something to this guy earlier, but I just got a vibe from him that he would not even care. The thought of just letting him die whenever he pulled had occurred to me, but I didn't want the rest of the group paying for it so I ended up swallowing my pride and just getting it done. Whoever you are, though, healer... you are a real jackass.

[Kassiekane]

I tell him he is in Cleric Stance. He doesn't respond, other than to say "Sorry I got distracted." Lovely.

We respawn back at the start, and I watch him re-apply Cleric Stance as soon as he possibly can.

Kudos to you for putting up with that.

[Zefiris]

In the last days I did Crystal/Syrcus Tower several times and generally I saw the other healer with cleric stance. Well, as I am restless and always healing and doing stoneskin in someone (even when belongs to two other party), perhaps the other healer feels confident about stay dpsing. Not sure.

[Urtear]

In the last days I did Crystal/Syrcus Tower several times and generally I saw the other healer with cleric stance. Well, as I am restless and always healing and doing stoneskin in someone (even when belongs to two other party), perhaps the other healer feels confident about stay dpsing. Not sure.

Happens to me in ST alot, and especially main scenario roulette. Ticks me off, hon. It's the other healer thinks I'm gonna do all the work while they play at dps because I'm more geared than they are. I get pretty vocal about my opinion, especially in Main Scenario. If anyone should be rocking Cleric Stance for damage it should be me because of my gear. I'd do more damage. The fresh little Whm or Sch, they need to get their feet wet in 8 man healing. I'm not about to bust my ass so they can sit on theirs. And neither should you. We all learned by trial and fire, they should too.

[erkhardt]

I generally gauge whether or not to DPS as WHM based on how the party is doing. If they are doing fine and the DPS are dodging mechanics, tank is holding aggro, then sure I'll fling some damage then stance dance where appropriate. It's second nature to me now. I almost never use repose, when I do, it's in the absence of AoE parties in low level runs. I used to use FA+Repose, but again, previous statement. FA alone I almost never use; the only time I use FA is when something makes a beeline right for me. That is usually never, even with under-experienced tanks. I just watch the hate table.

Speed runners rejoice! I can deal with you doing crazy stuff. Tanks ask me all the time, SR? I reply, "you can do whatever you want. I'll keep up with ya." I do warn them though at lower levels that my toolkit is quite sparse, so just be careful. Waaaay easier to handle speedrunning with a full toolkit at 50.

[Vorpal_Spork]

Stoneskin Elitism
dps dont need it
This is pretty minor I will admit, but it puts the cherry on top. How self-centered are you to only put stoneskin on yourself, and not even the tank?

Granted I'm not quite 50 yet, but stoneskin on the tank seems pointless so far. It goes down instantly as soon as he pulls anyway. I usually use it on myself and the DPS so that nobody dies before I can do anything about it if they get agro.

Unnecessary Kiting
Stupid tank, I'm trying to keep myself alive.
Tank just pulled. White mages successfully acquires aggro after a preemptive regen or cure II. White Mage then proceeds to sprint AWAY from the tank, using swiftcast blizz II and fluid aura. Just for safe measure, medica II is up to ensure that tank can't ever get aggro back. Seriously, what the actual f*ck?

For any newbie DPS or healers who might be reading this, always run toward the tank, not away. That goes for tanks too. I had a wipe today because the tank ran around a corner right before a Cure 2 went off.

[Saseal]

For any newbie DPS or healers who might be reading this, always run toward the tank, not away. That goes for tanks too. I had a wipe today because the tank ran around a corner right before a Cure 2 went off.

^ This. Started a nub tank not too long ago (from maining WHM). Went in a simple hest ('Under the Armor' - so it was like a boss + spawning adds) conjurer pulled ADD hate immediately after they spawned on the sides - and I had no shield lob at that sync level. They ran away from the ADDs and started getting munched on really badly, so I had to literally chase after them (and their heals were trumping any flashes I got off).
Healer was chased by the ADDs being chased by me, whom was chased by the boss - of which was chased by the DPS.
It ended badly for the healer.

[point09micron]

Stoneskin: If it's down I put it up on everyone between pulls. There's no good reason to go into a fresh fight without it. During fights I'll recast it on myself and DPS time and mp permitting, but I don't recast it on the tank unless the boss is about to do something big. I just don't think it's that efficient generally, because the amount blocked per MP is a good bit less than the amount healed per MP by Cure (assuming your gear is of an appropriate level). The only time Stoneskin is more efficient is if the tank's gear completely outstrips your own, to the point that 18% of their HP is more than 3 times what your Cure heals. Even at 12000 HP, it's break-even MP cost vs. HP if you can non-crit a Cure for 720. (18% of 12000 is 2160 Stoneskin for 399 MP, vs. 3 Cures at 133 MP each). Granted, the 3 Cures take a couple extra seconds to cast, but on the other hand, the only way your Cure is going to be that low is if you run with broken gear.

For the record, to crack 12k HP, it would take a Warrior ilevel around 130, with Defiance and Bacon Bread. A WHM in full i110 should be casting Cure for over 1000, at which point 2 Cures is healing more than 1 Stoneskin prevents.

edit for word count.

[Cynfael]

Some SCOB farm with partial PUGs yesterday reminded me that underhealing is right up there as a common WHM mistake. I really wanted to remind these players that Cures do not cast from gil and that there is no achievement for never dipping below 90% MP.

While I am venting, I think there is a constructive point to be made: if you or a loved one know or are a chronic underhealer, regardless of Job, please seek help now.

[Vorpal_Spork]

Some SCOB farm with partial PUGs yesterday reminded me that underhealing is right up there as a common WHM mistake. I really wanted to remind these players that Cures do not cast from gil and that there is no achievement for never dipping below 90% MP.

While I am venting, I think there is a constructive point to be made: if you or a loved one know or are a chronic underhealer, regardless of Job, please seek help now.

If you're alive it isn't underhealing.