Apparently trying to help is being rude

[Alukah]

I find that anyone that decides to offer unsolicited advise to be the ultimate backseat driver of <insert class of preference here> - it is rude. Especially when it's coming from someone I do not know at all. It pisses me off. I personally do not appreciate it. If I need help or advise, I ask for it.

Please no, we don't need more players with that poor attitude here, be grateful someone takes their time to let you know you are doing something wrong (assuming they don't write it as poorly thought as the OP) you don't know you need advice when you don't even know you are doing something wrong.

If you don't want criticism don't play online games, don't interact with other people.

[Artiste]

Yeah, someone ennoyed me once, went in low lvl donjon, and was saying some obvious advices, but maybe not that that obvious becoz it was needed, like " healer pull aoe aggro, you need to build aggro on every monsters)

It's was a lvl 44 or something like that dj, so it was really hard to tnak 2 monsters and heal, didn't get mad or anything.

And who begin to annoy me ? not even the tank, a fuc*ing DPS that doesn't have any responsability.
And he really was trying to make me mad (after the second middle part of the donjon he did success, I got mad)

[Shiwayari]

It's still an etiquette thing like when someone in your party or FC says:
"BRB WC" (obviously taking a deuce, comes back)
"Back"
Everyone else > "Welcome back!, WB, wb"

In game manners yo, it's just weird.

But seeing >Hello! at the start of something is better than seeing:
"Sup turds" (First thing I Saw when I did a DF Levi EX run with 4 others in my FC, needless to say we didn't win, guy was the MT)

Also I switch up the intro every run, doesn't always gotta be hello D:

Maybe not so different discussions. I don't really make it my thing to follow all the etiquettes I know, everyone does it, maybe its nice.. I like to be open minded. It saves me pressing 7 buttons, and saves 3 other persons reading another line of chat which contains 0 information. Maybe that's a bit funny... maybe that thinking is one reason why most think I was being rude in the OP. Well.. one cannot satisfy everyone, so be it.
Sometimes, if I had a good day, I might even say hello in a DF party.

What it tells you is that they have manners, which is what this whole thread is about. You don't say hello to someone when you meet them, it's rude, there's no other way to say this. And if you're rude at the beginning, I wouldn't be surprised if you were in the middle of the run too.

I feel a bit different, like I said someone saying "Hello" to the group personally doesn't tell me anything, might as well not have said it. It doesn't tell me they have manners, I've seen enough rude situations, may they have done greetings at the start of a content or not. If at all, if someone says "Hello" at the start, I might be slightly more inclined to think they will not be rude, but that's not a given. I don't think if had said "Hello" at the start of this run, the reaction would have been any different.
It takes a lot, a lot, a lot of talking to a person to understand them fully, greeting, or not greeting, there can be so many reasons as to why people do or dont do it. It is completely indifferent to me.
I try to have a nice friendly run and not harass anyone (guess i failed this time) and try contributing to the community, with or without words.

[RickXRolled]

The real problem here is not that players don't listen to advice or get their feelings hurt to easily. It's the fact that there is to many of these type of players in the game that's bad.
Have you guys been watching people fight Odin at fanfest? Players are ridiculously bad.

[SinisterIsBack]

Congratulations for the worst post in here, that is rude if anything, thank you for trying to make me feel bad. If you were trying to be funny, I'm sorry but you failed.

Others are actually contributing to the discussion.

Again, you shouldn't be surprised at the outcome.

[RakaMaimhov]

Or just don't give advice to black mages.

Let them be crummy. Yeah, I know it makes your run horrible, but it makes their runs horrible too. Maybe in their badness they will just get bored and try another job on their own, or quit the game.

People with crummy attitudes are generally the ones resistant to advice (regardless of how rude or polite it is) anyway. It's not your job to teach others' how to do their jobs. If they don't ask for help, don't give it.

Btw, from how that chatlog looked, the only person NOT being rude was the healer.

[Aegys]

OP, you had good intentions, but your tone was rude.

[14:57] YOU: You should reread your job skills <BLM>.

It may be true that he/she has no understanding of the skills, but a comment like that is insulting. An alternative could be: "Might I give a suggestion for your rotation?"

This is what prompted his response:

[14:57] BLM: pardon me?

Then you gave him a command. Not a suggestion. A command:

[14:67] YOU: Start with fire III

There is a difference between "Start with fire III" and "You should start with fire III", or "Starting with fire III gives blah blah..."

The first is a command (if you hadn't notice, people online don't like being told what to do), the second is a suggestion, and the third is an explanation. From there, it went downhill.

Had you initially approached it a different way, I'm sure that BLM would've reacted differently.

[Bluevann]

Not to be a white knight here (I've given my share of criticism to the OP too), but I think a great majority of the replies here are unnecessarily rude and flaming. Clearly the OP was in the wrong in what how he did, and when we pointed out at his mistakes he has repeatedly admitted his fault and said he'd do better.

There is absolutely no need for this constant bashing. At least he/she is going to improve, and is also taking his/her time to read each and all of our post and reply accordingly. I think that is a sign of a constructive mind and for that, I'd give them kudos.

To the OP I'd suggest to edit the first post to point out that the subject is closed. Lesson learned, and to move on. Do not check this thread any further even if it gets bumped, because I think if there was anything useful to be said about this topic, it was already posted. From here and on it's all going to be repetitive comments or pointless bashing.

[Shiwayari]

OP, you had good intentions, but your tone was rude.

[14:57] YOU: You should reread your job skills <BLM>.

It may be true that he/she has no understanding of the skills, but a comment like that is insulting. An alternative could be: "Might I give a suggestion for your rotation?"

This is what prompted his response:

[14:57] BLM: pardon me?

Then you gave him a command. Not a suggestion. A command:

[14:67] YOU: Start with fire III

There is a difference between "Start with fire III" and "You should start with fire III", or "Starting with fire III gives blah blah..."

The first is a command (if you hadn't notice, people online don't like being told what to do), the second is a suggestion, and the third is an explanation. From there, it went downhill.

Had you initially approached it a different way, I'm sure that BLM would've reacted differently.

Yes, that's probably true. The time a BLM thanked me for the advice "Starting with Fire III gives.." was almost the exact line I wrote that time.
You know, I was probably being very lazy that time and just wanted to do a very quick short conversation. I was also playing MNK trying to reposition constantly, so I probably wanted to type this even quicker.
I just wish the "tone" in which things are writte would not matter at all. Times like this, I really really hate having to resort to this "written language" thing of humanity. It causes so much misundertanding, and noone can do anything about it!

Not to be a white knight here (I've given my share of criticism to the OP too), but I think a great majority of the replies here are unnecessarily rude and flaming. Clearly the OP was in the wrong in what how he did, and when we pointed out at his mistakes he has repeatedly admitted his fault and said he'd do better.

There is absolutely no need for this constant bashing. At least he/she is going to improve, and is also taking his/her time to read each and all of our post and reply accordingly. I think that is a sign of a constructive mind and for that, I'd give them kudos.

To the OP I'd suggest to edit the first post to point out that the subject is closed. Lesson learned, and to move on. Do not check this thread any further even if it gets bumped, because I think if there was anything useful to be said about this topic, it was already posted. From here and on it's all going to be repetitive comments or pointless bashing.

Thanks, I guess I'll do that. But I'll most likely still reply to things, too much completionist OCD, haha. I just can't leave something stand in the room.. (Wait, wasn't there a post limit or something?)
Well, at least this thread has been more entertaining that another 50 Halatali runs for MNK stuff that never drops.

[Snugglebutt]

One thing to take from this thread OP is this, if your rude, condescending and insulting to another player...more often than not they reply in kind meaning they will take the same tone with you. If you speak to them with respect and kindness, word and phrase yourself in a non hostile or condescending manner they will be more open to change and won't be rude back to you.

A common theme to the replies you have got from this in the thread is you were rude in how you went about giving advice and as such you are to blame for the person feeling insulted and returning the favor to you in their responses in the sense you started it so it is more understandable as to why they responded the way they did.

A piece of advice I will offer you is maybe think about changing yourself in how you approach and talk to others first before you worry about changing them because it will make interactions between others much more polite and fun, less hostile and they will be more open to change if your not being rude and clearly condescending towards them as shown was being so in your original chat log (regardless of intentional or not).

On another note you should always try to say hello or hi, heya or such when starting a dungeon or trial run etc because it fosters/sets up an atmosphere of positivity and friendliness. It does not matter if your having a bad day, have to press a couple extra keys or buttons at the start of a run or if ran that place a billion times, you should always start off on a positive note not a negative one.

It does not matter if someone saying hello to you means nothing to you and that is not a valid excuse not to do it because you are not playing with only yourself, you are playing other people and most people appreciate such things even if you do not. They are not just tools to get you what you want, there are people behind those avatars and they might care about being polite even if you do not.

A little kindness and politeness goes a long way in human interaction. It benefits you when there is such a positive atmosphere and takes so little effort to create it that there is no valid reason why you should not try to do so, you complaining about how many button presses takes is not a good excuse when just those few button presses helps create a potentially more pleasant environment for you play and interact with others when working with others to achieve a goal instead of a negative one from the offset.