Apparently trying to help is being rude

[SinisterIsBack]

Congratulations for the worst post in here, that is rude if anything, thank you for trying to make me feel bad. If you were trying to be funny, I'm sorry but you failed.

Others are actually contributing to the discussion.

Again, you shouldn't be surprised at the outcome.

[Nezacant]

[Laerune]

Your intention is good, but the way you phrase your sentence is rude and condescending.

My advice is to treat others like you would have in real life and in real life, you dont order them to do something. You advice them in a kind and respectfull matter on why they should do something in a certain way.

[ExHeroKid]

Your intention is good, but the way you phrase your sentence is rude and condescending.

^this, is where you all should leave this topic off
and I can't seem to find the post to quote it again but someone else had said
"=/="

Just STAPH THE MADNESS.

I'm pretty sure you've received plenty of 'advice' on how you should have approached it so use it next time you try to help <3
Here's how I start when I'm seeing a tank struggle.
'Right click his name -> view search profile'
'Highest level is 27 GLD!'
"Hey do you want some help?"
*Waits for reply*
Y = Proceed to tell him rotation
N = Aight fu- it, continue through the dungeon and hope it ends well.

I find that unless the person specifically states that they're new to something or if they don't have a LV50 yet then they're pretty open to advice especially after the first wipe or death.

After that though you can't tell them nothing.

[Coatl]

It depends on the situation. If this was in an expert dungeon then his performance really doesn't impact the run all that much, because he's a dps and fortunately they can't mess up a run for being bad.

If this was something like an extreme primal or coil, you would be in the right because in there it's get gud or get out.

[Artiste]

Yeah, someone ennoyed me once, went in low lvl donjon, and was saying some obvious advices, but maybe not that that obvious becoz it was needed, like " healer pull aoe aggro, you need to build aggro on every monsters)

It's was a lvl 44 or something like that dj, so it was really hard to tnak 2 monsters and heal, didn't get mad or anything.

And who begin to annoy me ? not even the tank, a fuc*ing DPS that doesn't have any responsability.
And he really was trying to make me mad (after the second middle part of the donjon he did success, I got mad)

[RakaMaimhov]

Or just don't give advice to black mages.

Let them be crummy. Yeah, I know it makes your run horrible, but it makes their runs horrible too. Maybe in their badness they will just get bored and try another job on their own, or quit the game.

People with crummy attitudes are generally the ones resistant to advice (regardless of how rude or polite it is) anyway. It's not your job to teach others' how to do their jobs. If they don't ask for help, don't give it.

Btw, from how that chatlog looked, the only person NOT being rude was the healer.

[Bluevann]

Not to be a white knight here (I've given my share of criticism to the OP too), but I think a great majority of the replies here are unnecessarily rude and flaming. Clearly the OP was in the wrong in what how he did, and when we pointed out at his mistakes he has repeatedly admitted his fault and said he'd do better.

There is absolutely no need for this constant bashing. At least he/she is going to improve, and is also taking his/her time to read each and all of our post and reply accordingly. I think that is a sign of a constructive mind and for that, I'd give them kudos.

To the OP I'd suggest to edit the first post to point out that the subject is closed. Lesson learned, and to move on. Do not check this thread any further even if it gets bumped, because I think if there was anything useful to be said about this topic, it was already posted. From here and on it's all going to be repetitive comments or pointless bashing.

[Shiwayari]

OP, you had good intentions, but your tone was rude.

[14:57] YOU: You should reread your job skills <BLM>.

It may be true that he/she has no understanding of the skills, but a comment like that is insulting. An alternative could be: "Might I give a suggestion for your rotation?"

This is what prompted his response:

[14:57] BLM: pardon me?

Then you gave him a command. Not a suggestion. A command:

[14:67] YOU: Start with fire III

There is a difference between "Start with fire III" and "You should start with fire III", or "Starting with fire III gives blah blah..."

The first is a command (if you hadn't notice, people online don't like being told what to do), the second is a suggestion, and the third is an explanation. From there, it went downhill.

Had you initially approached it a different way, I'm sure that BLM would've reacted differently.

Yes, that's probably true. The time a BLM thanked me for the advice "Starting with Fire III gives.." was almost the exact line I wrote that time.
You know, I was probably being very lazy that time and just wanted to do a very quick short conversation. I was also playing MNK trying to reposition constantly, so I probably wanted to type this even quicker.
I just wish the "tone" in which things are writte would not matter at all. Times like this, I really really hate having to resort to this "written language" thing of humanity. It causes so much misundertanding, and noone can do anything about it!

Not to be a white knight here (I've given my share of criticism to the OP too), but I think a great majority of the replies here are unnecessarily rude and flaming. Clearly the OP was in the wrong in what how he did, and when we pointed out at his mistakes he has repeatedly admitted his fault and said he'd do better.

There is absolutely no need for this constant bashing. At least he/she is going to improve, and is also taking his/her time to read each and all of our post and reply accordingly. I think that is a sign of a constructive mind and for that, I'd give them kudos.

To the OP I'd suggest to edit the first post to point out that the subject is closed. Lesson learned, and to move on. Do not check this thread any further even if it gets bumped, because I think if there was anything useful to be said about this topic, it was already posted. From here and on it's all going to be repetitive comments or pointless bashing.

Thanks, I guess I'll do that. But I'll most likely still reply to things, too much completionist OCD, haha. I just can't leave something stand in the room.. (Wait, wasn't there a post limit or something?)
Well, at least this thread has been more entertaining that another 50 Halatali runs for MNK stuff that never drops.

[Snugglebutt]

One thing to take from this thread OP is this, if your rude, condescending and insulting to another player...more often than not they reply in kind meaning they will take the same tone with you. If you speak to them with respect and kindness, word and phrase yourself in a non hostile or condescending manner they will be more open to change and won't be rude back to you.

A common theme to the replies you have got from this in the thread is you were rude in how you went about giving advice and as such you are to blame for the person feeling insulted and returning the favor to you in their responses in the sense you started it so it is more understandable as to why they responded the way they did.

A piece of advice I will offer you is maybe think about changing yourself in how you approach and talk to others first before you worry about changing them because it will make interactions between others much more polite and fun, less hostile and they will be more open to change if your not being rude and clearly condescending towards them as shown was being so in your original chat log (regardless of intentional or not).

On another note you should always try to say hello or hi, heya or such when starting a dungeon or trial run etc because it fosters/sets up an atmosphere of positivity and friendliness. It does not matter if your having a bad day, have to press a couple extra keys or buttons at the start of a run or if ran that place a billion times, you should always start off on a positive note not a negative one.

It does not matter if someone saying hello to you means nothing to you and that is not a valid excuse not to do it because you are not playing with only yourself, you are playing other people and most people appreciate such things even if you do not. They are not just tools to get you what you want, there are people behind those avatars and they might care about being polite even if you do not.

A little kindness and politeness goes a long way in human interaction. It benefits you when there is such a positive atmosphere and takes so little effort to create it that there is no valid reason why you should not try to do so, you complaining about how many button presses takes is not a good excuse when just those few button presses helps create a potentially more pleasant environment for you play and interact with others when working with others to achieve a goal instead of a negative one from the offset.