I have a few alts, and some of those I've switched up the appearance on (only once have I use a Fantasia, and that was to change a voice that made me cringe once I heard the full laugh), but my main has never even changed hairstyle and definetly not haircolour. So far there's no hair that matches the one she has, and I'm very pleased with her look. Nevermind that her race is one of the most played, I'm not trying to be the rarest of the rare there, all I want is to be happy with what I'm looking at every day. It was visually painful, having to wait until 50 to start glamouring.
I too am a very aesthetically driven player, and I can spend hours picking the right shade of dye for my outfits. As for the outfits, I find the game sadly restricting both when it comes to the items themselves and the glamour system. Because the glamour system is tied to specific items, you can't have different looks for all jobs once you get beyond the gear that is for one job only. I would love it if you could have a look for each of the two tank, healer or caster jobs. Tanks are the ones that currently have the most items available to them for glamour, since they can glamour any tank, melee AND magic user gear of all levels, as long as it isn't job- or race-specific, while magic users don't have access to most non-magic user things. It would be great to have access to the other races' hempen- or race-outfits, and I know a few people (including myself) who'd enjoy mixing it up with crafting or gathering gear!
Ideally, in my eyes, all of these restrictions would be removed when it comes to glamour. Diversity is the spice of life, and the more options people have, the more creative they can be.
If there absolutely HAS to be some kind of restriction, I'm happy if it just remains as the weapon. That's plenty to distinguish what job someone is. (But I would agree with some who've wanted to be able to have a bare-fist look for their Pugilist/Monk, however that would be within one class/job.)
Edit: And YES to being able to dye more gear. There are so many things that are red or have red details, and that just doesn't go with my skintone. Non-dyable gear makes me Q.Q