The day I learned I wasn't meant to lead.

[Black91CRX]

I feel your pain.

[Coatl]

If they were really your friends then why is the relationship between you and them severed just because they left your FC? An FC is just an FC. If they were your friend before they can still be your friend now. There's other ways to keep in contact with someone who has recently felt out of reach.

And if they aren't willing to make the extra step with you, then you'll have to accept it.

[Darus]

I too understand the problem of building up members to see them leave. The issue I, myself, have however, is that they leave without so much as a goodbye. Once day they talk about how awesome the FC is, thanking you for helping them gear out, next thing you know they jump ship. Truthfully, I see it as a way to strengthen my FC. The ones who stick around are real friends and comrades, the rest will be FC hopping for months to come. Some of my members watch the people who leave for some time, to see how many times they change FC and how often. It's kinda some sort of "traitor" game they made up for those types.

[MrSagitarius]

When anyone leaves our FC, especially someone who has been around quite a bit, it makes an impact to all of those in the FC. However, each person has their reasons, and we remain friends even if we do not see each other as much. It's a special surprise when joining a PF group and seeing some old FC friend, and your time on that fight/raid is made that much more special.
"If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?" Bill Watterson

[Seiryuukishi]

As the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.

The feelz man, the feelz.

[Raxion]

I really appreciate all of the kind words of encouragement this thread has filled up with. After some thought, and reading through the thread, I don't think I'm going to give up. I want to believe that there are people out there looking for an FC like mine, where the leader really cares about them.

I'll have to work on not letting it hurt me as much when someone moves on to different things. I'll try to learn to appreciate the time that I have with them, rather than feeling so down when they decide that it's time to move on. I still plan to provide a welcoming environment, but if people decide that my FC isn't for them, then the choice to move on is theirs to make. The problem isn't in the members going on in search of something better, the fault was my own for letting that get to me so much. I still have members that need help, and I intend to give them a hand when they need it.

[Kimikryo]

I feel with you OP.

I got booted out of an FC because people told lies about me and the leaders believed them without even having a word with me. I felt betrayed, I felt hurt, I was -which I swore on my plush moogle never will happen again - furious.

I was like "I am better than this, I will show by making my own FC, I won't will be put down because of something stupid like this". Soon after started it we were 12 people. We ranked up to 3 really fast. Than people left and never would answer what happened. Others said "See you tomorrow Kimi" they never came back.


Being at a loss what to do, I was alone in the FC with my best mate who had to quit because of money for some time, and solo ranked it up to 5 than to 8. Every time the same thing happened. People joined, we had lots of fun, did things together I catered to the newbies and helped them out than again same thing as before.

Now I don't know how to carry on with the FC. I don't want to delete it, it took me a lot of time to rank it up, with members we put together FOUR different lores for the RP part of the FC which all thought was awesome every time. But ney it wasn't meant to stay.

What do people want of a FC, when the server I am on is satiated with FCs of every possible kind you can imagine.

Dear players, if you chose to leave the FC, and the leader asks you what made you leave them, at least answer them. Especially if you left a small FC.

[Rieze_Xeero]

agree. even if this is a game, it reflects on real word aspects of leadership. Especially you are playing with people all over the world. Enjoy the game every one

[Galgarion]

I hate guild drama with a passion. In seven years of playing MMO games, I've seen guilds go out in a blaze of horror in a variety of ways. Here are a few I remember particularly well.

1. "Inner circle Envy." Big guilds usually function around one leader and his chosen circle of friends/officers. People on the fringe membership of the group tend to resent that core circle and become envious of their influence. From there, they begin having whispered conversations with others, fermenting distrust and hostility, and from there the guild has a meltdown and splits down the middle.

2. "Bad boss." The Guild Leader develops a Napoleon conflict and starts leading like a dictator, alienating everyone with his whims and attitude. Eventually when someone speaks up and tells him to knock it off, he'll kick that person out of the guild, then tells everyone else: "If you don't like it, then LEAVE." Is shocked when everyone starts leaving.

3. "Bad Romance." A high ranking officer becomes infatuated with a member in real life, forms a relationship with him or her, and begins showing absolute favoritism. This is exasperated by the fact that the player being shown favor SUCKS AT THE GAME but is still being dragged along for raids and progression content. Becomes well geared but absolutely reviled. People start leaving in droves.

4. "Stalker." Even worse than bad romance. A seemingly normal guild officer that you could have known for years is revealed to be the worse kind of psycho gamer stalker. He gets obsessed with (usually a female player) and begins using every opportunity he has to flirt with her and appear "charming." Mumble/ventrilo/team speak become filled unwanted sexual innuendo, the poor player affected begins to feel freaked out, sides are drawn between people wanting this ass to stop it and his friends trying to stick up for him, and the guild falls apart.

5. "Casual EXTREEEEEME." A formerly casual guild becomes elitist. It starts off with them enjoying minor success, evolves into them becoming obsessed with climbing the ranks of power, and then ends with them declaring that players who can't carry their weight with the guild will be removed. The casual players become offended and begin yelling that being elite asses isn't why they joined the guild in the first place. Depending on who outnumbers who in the argument, either all the casuals are kicked or all the best players end up leaving and forming their own guild. Either way, everything is ruined.

6. "The Union." Your guild decides to merge with another guild and become a "Super guild." The idea is that more players lead to more healers and tanks + a bigger talent pool = more fun for everyone. Only your guild is smaller, and loses its identity. Players begin wishing for a return to the good old days. They do not return.

7. "The Cult." One of the rarest ones, but still a possibility. Everyone on your server HATES YOUR GUILD. If they see that you are a member of that guild YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY DISTRUSTED. They would rather wear a blindfold around the Laughing Coffins than willingly hang out with you. Your guild leadership assures you that your server is filled with "losers and haters" who don't get why your guild is so awesome. They're just jealous that you guys are always having so much fun and stuff. What you fail to realize at this point is that the reason everyone HATES YOUR GUTS is that your guild is a bunch of jerks. YOU ARE THE EVIL THAT HAUNTS VIDEO GAMES. You are a repellant collection of insular man-children that makes everyone wish you were dead in real life, but the cult (sorry, guild) does such a good job of convincing you that it's them, not you, that you never fail to realize this profound truth until you eventually stop playing the game. If you have ever stormed an RP funeral spamming shouts with slogans like "GOD HATES DRAENEI," then you may need to take a step back and think things over.

[Sylkis]

Understand what their problems are and try to solve them. If its not something you can, then you won't feel so bad about it because it wasn't your fault. Otherwise, learn from the experience and see how you can improve yourself and the FC.

If the person leaving never told you their intentions before doing so, then they probably weren't the type to stay around anyway.

And finally, if you love your FC then you *will* find it stressful to lead. Moreso if you do everything yourself. Delegate some of the tasks to other members you trust. They may enjoy being depended on and having a role to fulfill.