I am not insulting anyone here. I dont recall putting anyone down but I am going to place blame where blame is due.
You have every right to be frustrated and you have every right to criticize the way this went and suggest for the future, I would suggest making it clear you want them in the future to use a different vendor and do your own research to suggest a specific vendor you feel would be more appropriate. Again however if you did not want to risk being split neither of you should have attempted to upgrade. YOU read the forums YOU knew the risk YOU went ahead with it and I know YOU read the post because YOU replied to it so YOU have no excuse.
The first 2 are not an option for a very simple reason, do you not think they have something of an itinerary planned? VIP+1 now your 1hr signing session just became 2hrs so I guess that means 1-2 of the panels are going to have to go and just sacrifice the non VIP experience? Is that an expectation of yours? Or did you consider the fact that now 500 front row seats would be VIP (and how would non VIP people feel being stuck even if they are the first ones there way back in the nosebleed section)? Is that so VIP anymore when your still 10+ rows back? Now the short registration line is twice as long, now the early access so you can get in and get comfortable is now a crowded noisy experience. Essentially VIP would be the new regular ticket and the regular ticket would be the "I found this in the alley dumpster can I use it" ticket. Which I think would be unfair to those who were happy with the regular ticket as this would create a subpar experience for them.
As for Option 3... I assume you didnt read the print on the eventbrite website, the warnings given on the fanfest site, or the posts here on the forums. All sales are final. That I believe is out of SE's hands since the sales are done by the vendor.
You made an assumption and it didnt work out, it happens, but unfortunately that is not their fault. They did state and you specifically knew what was said because you replied to the posts. Yes they didnt answer your specific question regarding parties but knowing what they said previously you could have erred on the side of caution.
This really is the only fair statement you have, we all know SE is very lacking in communication and transparency. They have been for years and its something they really do need to work on.
I doubt they just decided to randomly do a fanfest and throw it together in 4-5 months. They also have done stuff liek this in the past, to give you an idea, in 2006 the event took weeks to sell out, in 2007 the tickets for FFXI fanfest took 2 weeks to sell out. In 2008 even with less than 20% of the number of tickets available than this event it still took 12hrs to sell out. I doubt they expected the volume of interest this received when they looked at vendors. As for why the VIP upgrade happened, that I am willing to bet was a money grab considering the perks. Free drinks are given at the casino itself just sit at a slot machine and when a server comes around get as many free as you like, separate line for registration, 10% off merchandise that is probably marked up already by 50% over buying it online isnt really much, the signing session is probably going to be DURING early access. My guess was they saw a way to make $20,000 quick and easy and went with it.
Again eventbrite itself states all sales are final. It was also said on the fanfest site and the forums here.
I am not trying to pick a fight, I am disappointed that they handled it this way just like you are, I am disappointed the way the entire fanfest tickets in general were handled, but demanding they make changes for you that are unlikely and bordering unrealistic are not going to help. All you can really do is leave feedback (both here and through their online feedback form) and like posts that suggest things like using a different vendor or including VIP sales in the initial selling (or even going back to the original sales making ALL tickets sold to the event reserved for current account holders). Complaining and demanding usually just gets your post at best skimmed over, leaving constructive and useful feedback will get your post looked at not just by others but by people who can actually do something.
EDIT: Or perhaps starting a CONSTRUCTIVE feedback post here on this fanfest forum so that the community team and event organizers have a specific thread to look at in reference to the next fanfest. and I will stress that CONSTRUCTIVE (negative feedback can be put constructively too) in order to maximize the likelyhood of it being taken seriously.