FF 14 jokes

[KingOfAbyss]

I got 14 atmas in an hour! ................................. said nobody eva.

^ You just did >.<

[Amelia_Pond_Behemoth]

Who's Diabolos's favorite band?
The Doors

[Kumabear76]

A new guy arrives in Limsa Lominsa, walks into the Drowning Wench, and notices a large jar filled to the brim with gil. The man approaches Baderon and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay 1000 gil, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."

"What are the three tests?" asks the man

"Gotta pay first."

So the guy gives him the 1000 gil, and Baderon adds it to the jar.

"OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a coeurl chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old Roegadyn woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her."

"Well, I know I've paid my 1000 gil," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"

The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.

"Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.

He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- roaring, yelping and growling, then silence.

Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.

"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

[Kumabear76]

So this Paladin and White Mage went to the Quicksand and sit down to let off some steam. The Paladin summons his little puppy minion who sits down near him.

PLD: "OMG. These fucking noobs! I swear if they keep coming to Titan HM with less than iLvl 80, I'll just ditch them and let them all die."

WHM: "I know right? Stupid noobs players need to be uber before attempting anything. I won't even run Coil turn 1 if the whole party doesn't have Zenith weapons and Myth armor. Seriously, noobs these days."

They both proceed to laugh and joke about their superior abilities until an adventurer walked in, went straight to the puppy and lifted its tail. After staring for a few moments, the adventurer scratched his head in confusion, and quietly left.

The PLD & WHM looked at each other, brushed it off and continued to talk about how bad everyone else is.

Soon, another adventurer walked in, went straight to the puppy and lifted its tail. After staring for a few moments, the adventurer scratched her head in confusion, and also quietly left.

Eventually, after 3 more adventurers came in and did the same, the PLD stopped the waitress and asked:

PLD: "What with all the weird people coming in and messing with my puppy?"

WAITRESS: "Well, I'm not sure, but there's been this rumor going around lately that there's a dog in here with two assholes."

[kingatlas]

"wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

OMG dude that's the funniest joke in the thread so far LMFAO, I love it, you other one is pretty good too

[Kore_Hyperion]

"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

I lol'd for a good while at this one.

Keep them coming. This reminds me of the meme thread =D

[logicallysynced]

Living with Miqo’te







"IGNIS TURN THE CAR AROUND NOW!!!"



Taken from tumblr

[EdwinLi]

Here are some lame jokes...

Why didn't the Black Mage return?

Because he was not back in Black.

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Why was there only Monks in a Group?

Because Everyone was Kung Fu Fighting!

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Why was the Warrior mad at the Culinarian?

Because his Meat Axe is Raw!

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What did the Paladin order from the Culinarian?

A Meat Shield!

[Galgarion]

I was in Ul'dah hanging out in the quicksand when I witnessed someone walking in wearing an ornate and stylish dress. I believe they call them goth lal-itas.

[DefendPopPunk]

I wanted to write a new joke for you all, but then I figured it'd be easier to just rehash an old joke instead. Never mind, you all won't bother listening to the joke anyway.