FF 14 jokes

[JayCommon]

"His rotations carry a weight that would break a casual's jaw."
"He's a lover, not a raider; but he's also a raider, so don't get any ideas."
"He is the key to raids he has never attended."
"His sword alone has slain more than a casual's entire body."
"He once soloed Titan EX. That's right. You heard me."
"If he were to own your team at Frontlines, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him."
"If he's on you PF, you would put it in your shouts."
"Both jobs of his Arcanist are BiS."
"Primals have a week dedicated to him."
"He once lost in a PuG raid, just to see how it feels."
"He is... The Most Elite Player in the World."

Haha! Love the Dos Equis references.


His retainers bring back other people's retainers.
Atma complains about him.
If he were to pat you on the back, you would put it in your Lodestone blog.


That's all I got right now, if I think of more I'll edit them in later. Too early for decent thought process lol...

Your arcanist one made me actually lol haha.

[Bixby]

Why is the Sultansworn's haunted house always the scariest? Because it's on hallowed ground with spirits within.


DRG: Hey, BLM, what's that thing you put up between rooms? Y'know, to keep them separate?
BLM (shaking head): Man... a WALL.

[Altijacek]

Lol the Dos Equis jokes.

He can play dragoon...without dying.
He once solo healed leviathan extreme...as a lancer.
He unlocked the who wants to be a gillionaire achievement...in 42 Eorzea minutes.
He's the reason Odin rarely appears.
Hunt marks wait for him.
His DPS is nearly 515...on his paladin.

[Morningstar1337]

I got couple more Dos Equis jokes:

"He bought a personal house... in every ward."
"His Greased Lightning Stacks are always active."
"One time, Twintania saw him and ran away from the coil."
"The Primals worship HIM."
"He complains about handouts...because he doesn't know that he gets them faster than everyone else."
"His MP, TP, CP and GP never run out."
"He can create HQ 3-star items...with one Basic Touch."

[Dragoon4life]

He casted Blizzard once at Coerthas Central Highlands and it stayed that way
He taught Gerolt Blacksithing then Blacksmithed all Nexus
he eats Debuffing food to give the Raids a chance at HIM!

[Altijacek]

He has level 50 on all jobs...including ninja.

[Altijacek]

When he enters a party finder, it is a full party.

[Altijacek]

Why is sex with a dragoon not all it's hyped up to be?
Despite the fact that they can full thrust and impulse drive, you can't get anything out of them without giving them a raise first.

[TouchandFeel]

Yes it's a necro but it's time to revive this classic and add to it with some new SB inspired humor, plus there are some great jokes in here and I think that the forums could use an injection of light-hearted fun right about now.

"A DRG walks into a bar, everyone else dodges it." ... classic.

Anyways, I'll start it off.

Q: What do tanks think of the new RDM and SAM players.
A: It's a love hate relationship.

[Amelia_Pond_Behemoth]

Why did the Griffon go to 7-Eleven?
Slurpee!