FF 14 jokes

[kidvideo]

Gogmagolem walks into a bar, the bartender says "what would you & your wife like?", Gogmagolem says "That's not my wife, that's my subligar!"

[CGMidlander]

You call that a knife? Now this, is a knife!

[Recaldy]

What rank is Stinging Sophie?

a B rank

[TouchandFeel]

Your chocobo's so fat, when it jumped people thought Dalamud had returned to the sky.

Your chocobo's so fat you need to buy a whole housing district just to stable it.

How do you drown a DRG?
Put an AoE at the bottom of a lake.

I know these are dumb but somebody had to start the whole your chocobo's so fat thing and dumb blonde jokes + DRG make for an endless supply of jokes.

[Morningstar1337]

A Black Mage, White Mage and Arcanist walk into a bar, The Arcanist asks "What do you think I should go with; Attacks or Psysicks?"

The Black Mage says "Dude you should go with dealing a Tonze of damage"

The White Mage says "No he should devote himself to the healing arts."

While the two mages bicker, the Arcanist "Why not both?" and shrugs

The Black Mage responds "Cause if you focus too much on your mind, you would make an ineffetive Summoner"

The White Mage responds "But if you focus to much on Intelligence you will leave a lot to be desired as a Scholar."

Baffled, the Arcanists says "So you mean to say that Scholars are actually DUMBER than Summoners?"

[TouchandFeel]

Why did the adventurer take his chocobo to see a therapist?
He got tired of its constant kweh kweh'ing.

[Haprimac]

Lameness inc:

What's the best way to defeat a water sprite?
- Enjoying it with ice

What is Amalj'aas' mortal enemy?
- Megalocrab's bubbleshower

What is Chuck Norris' chocobo's name?
- Clucknorris

[Garlyle]

Why do Monks always lose at Jenga?

Because they have trouble maintaining stacks

[16bitBounty]

Why do Monks always lose at Jenga?

Because they have trouble maintaining stacks

Damn you! That hurt my feels.

[Morningstar1337]

"His rotations carry a weight that would break a casual's jaw."
"He's a lover, not a raider; but he's also a raider, so don't get any ideas."
"He is the key to raids he has never attended."
"His sword alone has slain more than a casual's entire body."
"He once soloed Titan EX. That's right. You heard me."
"If he were to own your team at Frontlines, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him."
"If he's on you PF, you would put it in your shouts."
"Both jobs of his Arcanist are BiS."
"Primals have a week dedicated to him."
"He once lost in a PuG raid, just to see how it feels."
"He is... The Most Elite Player in the World."