I agree with you that this can be REALLY irritating. But this usually happens on one or more of these conditions:

1. Synth is way above you (6 ranks or more)
2. You don't have the needed synthesis support
3. Half moon - this moon phase seems to complicate synthesis in general

Ofc destabilization can happen anytime during the synth process, there are some ways that help you to deal with them:

1. Brand of XYZ, usually removes destabilization after 1-3 waits
2. Assemble (Woodworking), Piece by Piece (Armorer) seems to have same luck/fail rate despite destabilizing
3. Hand of the Gods prevents a great loss of durability on explosion

Hope this can make your crafting experience more enjoyable! ^^