A couple of hours later, we decide to go out and purchase a physical copy of the game. It turns out that the local GameStop doesn't have one in stock, but they can have one there in approximately a week.

A week.

Dejected we come home and... it occurs to us to try Amazon.

Minutes later we've got two Registration codes and are in the game. We should've just gone with Amazon in the first place, but who's going to guess that a third party vendor would be easier than buying it directly from the company?

Now all that's left, I suppose, is to wait another couple of weeks while Square Enix flounders with the digital purchases we attempted to make and then try to cancel those purchases when they do figure it out.

A lesson was learned here. Square Enix makes amazing games... but don't ever buy them directly from them. Apparently being able to make a great game does not translate into any competency in selling it.