Whoooa buddy sounds like you've been taken on the troll tour. Your goals as WAR are as such:

1. If in a non-static you WILL be asked to OT. More than likely. so know how to do this, what it requires. This includes stance-dancing (defiance off/on). Defiance on before you begin tanking responsibilities. Defiance off when tanking responsibility is over

2. If you've been tanking for 5 years, the idea of others telling you how to tank is not new.

3. Don't CC Savage blade. Take flash back, its handy.

4. Definitely use CD's like convalescence. It's very good, as long as you aren't using it to reduce a large attack's damage. Featherfoot/Haymaker, I never use them. You have enough other skills to not need to be proccing that dodge, and the odds of you dodging a boss's attacks are slim to zero.

5. Yes, it is your job to hold 2nd aggro. Whatever it takes, do it.

6. Ultimately, if you are doing your job as well as you say you are (and I believe you that you are) you have no problem and are just meeting some silly trolls.