FFXIV Jokes

[Sigma-Astra]

Two dragoons walk into a bar: one is the designated driver....both of them are on the floor.

[PitWrymblood]

A Dragoon, a Bard, a Paladin, an Astrologist and a Scholar are walking to the airport in Gridania. They take the airship and fly off.
Several yalms over Gridania the Bard takes out an arrow, throws it straightway from the airship and says: "We've got too many of these lying around when getting the crystal."
The Scholar takes his book and throws it off the ship as well. "What's that for?", wonders the Bard. "It seems the tree huggers aren't interested in lectures about living better with nature."
The Astrologist searches for his notes about the current star constellation and throws those off the ship: "The stars are lying every time someone's on the floor and tries to tank it."
This sentence makes the Dragoon go into rage and searches for something... He then grabs the Paladin and throws him off the ship.
Scholar, Astrologist and Bard look at the Dragoon with the jaws dropped. "What the heck?!", shouts the Scholar.

The Dragoon simply replies: "They're supposed to take all those AoE circles, not me or any other Dragoon!"

[Vyrerus]

A Paladin walks into The Quicksands, saddles up at the bar to have a drink, when a Rogue taps him on the shoulder. The Rogue says, "Hey, Mr. PLD, I bet you 100,000 gil I can piss into that flagon over yonder on that table." He points to one of the center area tables, to the only flagon on it, on the far end of the table. The PLD looks at the flagon, then back to the Rogue, and then accepts. The Rogue says, "Alright, hold on a sec, gotta go finish my drink." The Rogue scoots off to a group of merchants, downs a glass of booze, comes back to the PLD, undoes his fly... turns back to the PLD suddenly and pisses all over him. The PLD shakes his head and blinks, smiling wide through the stench of the Rogue's foul piss, "Well, looks like you owe me 100,000 gil... why are you laughing?" The laughing Rogue wipes away a tear and says, "Well I just bet those merchants over there 1,000,000 gil each that I could piss all over you, and make you happy!

[Tint]

I should have known better than entering this topic, but I lost my Foresight.

[JTF-Taru]

A lalafell walks into a butcher's shop.

The butcher says, "I bet you 1 million gil you can't reach that meat on the top shelf."

The lalafell replies, "No, I won't take that bet - the steaks are too high..."

[WrenElessedil]

What did Ryne say to Thancred when he stubbed his toe?

"Turn the light on!"

[TheMightyMollusk]

What do you call a lalafell astrologian who just escaped from the gaol?

A small medium at large.

[SenorPatty]

Last week, I was in Dun Scaith. We were doing the final boss and we had just completed the gate phase when I said in alliance chat: "If only Dragonball Super had been this exciting."

[Avalionis]

I really enjoyed Yda's development in Stormblood's storyline. it truly felt like she got a new..."Lyse" on life.

[Axzeriuth]

Why do tanks like Astrologians so much?
Because they're friends with Benefics.


What brand of clothing do Red Mages wear most?
Versace.