I main as a BLM, and when i'm doing low level dungeons,I always adapt my dps and rotation for the tank i'm queued with.

for example, yesterday I was doing Sastasha with a friend who was doing his first dungeon as a tank.
I started using only single-target spells, to see how he was mantaining aggro on group of mobs.
i saw that he was doing his job perfectly, so i started using aoes, stopping myself when the aggro meter was arond "2 full" ( basically, if I landed another fire2, every mob would be on me).

tl;dr : if you know what you are doing as a tank, and a dps steals aggro from you, it's his own damn fault. not yours.