That's really a tough question to answer since there's so many people playing FFXIV now. Also you get a different perspective of a server depending on who you talk to. Personally I think Balmung is a friendly server. it's the unofficial FFXIV Role play server, so I think that may help a little with people being a little nicer to one another. I haven't noticed huge amounts of trolling and disrespect going on. Only problem is, it's a pretty full server so it might be tough to create a character on. You have to try during NA off hours (midnight - 6am CST roughly).