I'll agree it was a bit of a jerk move by the healer, but, You didn't "Need" the item per-say as it was for glamour, you wanted it, you should have at least said to the healer "Do you need that for an alt job?" and if not rolled need on it. If you get any pickups and any items are locked you should tell them at the start, or ask if it's ok with them but just needing and saying "Pass that" is also a jerk move.

I was trying for ages to get a Garuda's bow for my undergeared BRD for months because of people needing whilst I was on my DRG. My only other option would have been to spam run the new dungeons from 2.2 to gear enough to fight on my BRD.

There are also queue times, last night I queued Syrcus Tower on BRD (because I want to gear my BRD in ST gear) and I had a 15 min wait in prime time, but when I queued on my DRG think 15 mins to get a party, then the run, or just the time for the run, which would you choose? This is where the loot system falls over, you can't need for alt jobs unless you potentially nerf yourself going into content with a suboptimal job (ie one with a potentially much lower item level)